Monthly Archives: March 2022

When God Chooses Not to Take It Away

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God hasn’t Taken It Away

One of the hardest things to deal with in this life is when God chooses not to take something away. This week, Macey, our six-year-old, worked on one of those all about me papers. She had to fill in the blank with her favorite foods, colors, what she likes and doesn’t like, etc. She brought it to me when she had completed it, so she could show me her answers. The first one on the page said, I worry about ___________________. I looked at her answer and then looked at it again. She had written growing up in the blank.

She sat next to me on the couch. “I worry about growing up because of my Diabetes,” she said quietly and with a bit of uncertainty. I just stared at her for a beat before I pulled her into my arms.

“Macey, you don’t have to worry about growing up,” I told her. We talked for a few minutes before I sent her to play, but those few words hung heavy on my heart for quite a while. I told Matt about it later, and he reacted the same way I did. “That’s not something a six-year-old should ever have to worry about,” I told him. I hate that she has to deal with it, that God hasn’t just taken it away. But even as I said those words, I couldn’t help but think about other little kids who worry about growing up. I think of kids who have it so much worse than my Macey. Kids with cancer, with terminal illness, and more.

The Pain in This Life

No matter how bad you think your life is, there is always somebody who has it so much worse than you do. All you have to do is look around. This life is full of tragedy, heartbreak, pain, and loss.

I felt myself spiraling with thoughts of concern for Macey and the life ahead of her. Fear of the future, hurt for her, frustration all began to come at me. Then I read in my morning time some verses that have become so dear to me over the years.

God’s Grace

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10NLT

I read these verses and stopped. I pray every morning for God to heal Macey of her diabetes or to provide a cure. Right now, there is no cure for Type 1 Diabetes. She will be on insulin for the rest of her life. I’ve asked God to just take it away so many times, especially during those long, painful days in the ICU. I can feel Paul’s pain when he says, “I’ve begged God to take it away.”

Because I can feel his pain, I can also hear God’s words so clearly. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So when you’re weak, then I am strong.” When you have something that you’ve begged God to take away from you and he hasn’t, only then can you truly understand these words. I felt these words wrap around my heart, even as the tears came. I needed to remember: God’s grace is enough for today.

Strength in Weakness

Because God’s grace is all I need, he will make me strong through my weakness. What’s even greater is that God will work in Macey’s weakness. She can come to know God’s grace in an intimate way in her own life, but it’s my job to teach that to her. It’s my job to help guide her in her faith so that she can learn to be strong through God’s grace.

Do you have something in your life that you have begged God to take away or change and he hasn’t? A looming divorce, financial hardship, cancer, terminal illness, the death of a loved one, loneliness, heartbreak. I say these words to you, “God’s grace is enough.” I know it doesn’t seem like it, and it definitely doesn’t feel like it. But as someone who has been there and is still there, I can come alongside and wrap my arms around your shaking shoulders and say those words. You can learn to be strong by walking through your weakness with Jesus at your side.

We can know that we have begun to understand God’s grace and find his strength in our weakness when we can come alongside someone else and wrap our arms around them and say, “God’s grace is enough. Let me tell you how it was for me.”

For More Encouragement

A great book on this topic is It’s Not Supposed to be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lysa TerKeurst.

A Disastrous Date and My God Problem

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our disastrous date at chick fil a

Our Disastrous Date

Last week, Matt and I went to Chick-fil-A for our weekly breakfast date. I was really tired, and that’s not a great setup for a good date. Nevertheless, I pushed myself to get ready and get out the door, convinced I could make this work.

Well, you can probably see the handwriting on the wall. It didn’t go well. We started talking, and I started sharing. No matter what Matt said, no matter how he tried to encourage me, I was just not having it. Finally, he got frustrated because I obviously didn’t want to be pulled out of the dark hole I was in.

By the time our date finished, we hadn’t really solved anything; and both of us were discouraged and frustrated. The drive home was silent. When we got almost home, Matt pulled over. We both knew if we pulled up in front of the house, the kids would come running out. That would ruin any chance we had of trying to make things right. We talked for a few more minutes. Both of us apologized, and I told him I was really tired. I shouldn’t have even brought up some of the things I said because I wasn’t in a frame of mind for dealing with it.

My Meltdown

We came home after that. A few minutes later, I was swamped with school questions, fighting kids, and a messy house. I went upstairs to the bathroom to have a few minutes of peace, if I was lucky. (Moms, you know what I mean!)

I sat down on the toilet with the lid down and looked out the window, utterly dejected. After a few minutes, I prayed and told God how tired and frustrated I was and how I had made such a mess of things on our date. Sitting quietly for a moment, I waited; and God brought this thought to mind.

“Do you feel better? You shared your frustrations, fear, worry, and anger with Matt. Do you feel better for it?” I answered the rhetorical question. No. Ironically, I had done the exact same thing a few weeks ago. I hadn’t felt any better after that date either. So why did I do it again? Then this thought hit me. There are certain fears, worries, cares, concerns that you can only take to God. Once that thought hit me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It suddenly seemed so clear. I was trying to get Matt to meet this deep inner need that he was never going to be able to meet.

My Struggle was with God

See the struggle I was having was with God. I was frustrated with God not coming through on things I thought he should. My faith was fragile that day. I was hurt and felt unloved by God. All of those things I was feeling should have been directed to and dealt with by God. Instead, I took them to my husband, expecting him to be able to do something about it.

God reminded me in the few silent minutes I carved out in the bathroom that there are certain needs I have that only God can fill. That emptiness, loneliness, hurt, and pain is a God-sized hole in our heart that only he can fill.

I’m not going to be a sadist and say that you need to go at it alone, that only God can meet your needs, and you don’t need other people. That’s absolutely not true, and God has really showed me over the last few years how incredibly much I need people in my life. But there are times, I believe, that only God can meet us in that dark place that we’re in. And if we try to tell other people about it or bring them into the darkness with us, it only makes things worse.

Finding God in the Darkness

So, if you find yourself in the boat I was in, if you feel like your heart is cracking. You’re struggling with your faith, hurt, and fears. You’ve tried to talk to other people, but no matter what they say, you can’t be encouraged, it may be that you have a God problem that only God can fix.

So stop getting frustrated with people who can’t fix you. Look up and talk to the only one who can really meet you in this dark place. Let him be the one to hear your burdens, fears, worries, and concerns. Remember I Peter 5: 7, one of my favorite verses.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

I Peter 5:7

If we can begin to understand this concept of taking our deepest fears and concerns to God instead of other people, we will find he is there for us. He’s been waiting all along to carry those burdens for us; he was just waiting for us to release them to him.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement along these lines, check out my post, Finding the Tenacity to Wrestle with God. A good book recommendation is Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore. I read it a few years ago and need to read it again. It’s a really good book.

You Can’t Wait Until Life isn’t Hard to be Happy

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you can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy quote

Deciding to Be Happy

Matt tagged me in a post a few days ago. He told me to read the last line, that it was golden. It was a post about a girl who had passed away in February of this year. The last line of the article, written in her own words, was this line: “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

That’s a powerful line, especially when it comes from someone whose life backs it up. I’ve been thinking a lot about that phrase lately, especially after I saw that a girl I follow on social media passed away on March 1.

Brooklyn’s Faith

Brooklyn wasn’t someone I ever had the privilege of meeting, but I followed her online when I heard about her story. She was upfront and direct about the fact that she she was dying, and there was nothing anything could do about it. Brooklyn had chronic illness and all sorts of health problems, and she was very open about them. She had every reason to be miserable. Yet, if you followed her online and read any of her posts, she always had the biggest smile and was upbeat in her posts. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking to watch at the same time. These were some of the words of the last post she wrote before going to be with Jesus.

As I wait for my last breaths, I’ve been reading through the gospels. The Apostle’s description of Jesus’ crucifixion are a gut punch for anyone. Now dying myself, the description of how my Savior died is so much more potent. It leaves me in awe of a God who was born into flesh, willing to die in brutality and rise agin for the sin of humanity.

Brooklyn Salisbury

The Brokenness All Around Us

The world around us is broken. From the war in Ukraine, to the suffering of persecuted Christians, to kids dying from cancer, it can feel utterly and completely hopeless. Yet, somehow we’re supposed to reconcile all this with the life that Jesus wants us to—one of hope, faith, and love.

I read this verse in Proverbs this week, and it made me stop and consider.

For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
    for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:16 NLT

We can’t control what happens around us, but we can control how we respond to it. Have you ever noticed, some of the people that have the most horrible things happen to them are the most joyful people? How is that? They’ve chosen to have a happy heart.

I struggle with Having a Happy Heart

I am not a super emotional person, but I can be a super pessimistic person. Because I am a realist and see life in black and white, I can often see life on the cup-is-half-full side of life. That helps me be a little more even-keeled in life, but the downside is that I have a hard time choosing happiness.

I need to remind myself often that how much joy I get out of life is determined by me. God has blessed me with so much good. His faithfulness and unfailing love surround me.


But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry andfilled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15 NLT

So then choosing happiness becomes like all other hard things in life. It becomes a discipline. The more we do it, the better we get at it.

So for today, I choose to be happy. I choose to see life as a continual feast. I choose to find the good. And the more I do that, the easier it will become.

For More Encouragment

learning to be happy in the midst of life's hard

One of the hardest but best books I have ever read along these lines is The Hardest Peace: Expecting God’s Grace in the Midst of Hard by Kara Tippetts. I will warn you, you need to have a box of tissues handy when you read it, but it’s an amazing book that I think every Christian should read.

Another resource is my book, The Hidden Pain: When You Fear God is No Longer Blessing Your Life. I wrote this during a very dark time in my life, when I had to come to grips with my faith and what I knew of God when that clashed with my circumstances.

You can also read my post, Our Week in the ICU and God’s Grace for Every Moment.

Want to Join Our 40 Days of Faith Booster?

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The Disciples’ Storm

In the Gospels, we read about a storm that took place when Jesus was in the boat with his disciples. He was exhausted from his early mornings and late night ministering to people, so when he got into the boat, he promptly fell asleep. While he slept, a huge storm built and soon wreaked havoc with their boat. It must have been some storm for these seasoned fishermen to be afraid! They wake up Jesus in a panic. “Don’t you care that we’re going to drown?!”

Jesus simply looks out at the wind and the waves and the tempest, and commands it to stop. The storm instantly stops, and the seas become peaceful once again. Then Jesus turns to his disciples. Don’t miss this part; don’t miss what he says when he looks each of them in the eye. He says this, “Why were you so afraid? Do you not have faith?”

Growing Faith that is Stronger than Your Struggle

Those words are still an indictment to us today. The world becomes a chaotic storm around us, and we panic and run to Jesus. “Don’t you know what’s going on? Have you seen what’s happening?! Where are you, God?” God simply looks at us and says, “My beloved child, don’t you have any faith?”

I don’t know about you, but I want to have the faith that Jesus expects me to have. I don’t want to fall apart when the path before me gets a little rocky, when the storms start swelling around me.

Uncertainty, Unrest, and Fear

It seems like everywhere you turn right now, there is unrest, uncertainty, and fear. What do we to combat that? The best way to combat our fear and uncertainty is to double down on our faith. How can we do that? How can we grow our faith?

40 days of faith kit

Well, for our church, that means doing a spiritual growth campaign that is a 40-day booster for our faith. I invite you to join us.

What Is It?

It’s a forty-day study on faith that our church is leading. There are three parts to it.

  1. The Sermon Series. Matt will be preaching every Sunday morning at 11:00 EST a series entitled, Growing Faith that’s Stronger than Your Struggle. You can catch those sermons on our Greater Philly Church Facebook Page. You can watch them live or watch the replay.
  2. Weekly Small Group Study. We will meet in our small groups during the week and work through the accompanying 40 Days of Faith Study Guide. If you are interested, you can snag a copy of the study guide from Amazon and use it to start your own group. There are QR codes inside the study guide for links to the corresponding videos for this series that are free on YouTube.
  3. Daily Devotional Study. For the final element our our forty days of faith, we will be working through our Faith for the Impossible 30-Day Devotional.
faith for the impossible devotional
40 days of faith study guide

We all could use something positive to focus on right now. If we can do that and grow in our walk with God at the same time, then that’s a win in my book. I’m looking forward to this study to be able to do just that.

If you want to join in, use the links above to snag a devotional and a study guide, and be sure to check out our Facebook page on Sunday mornings.

If you aren’t really interested in joining us but still want the benefits of the study, I encourage you to grab a devotional and work through it by yourself at home. It will help you grow in your faith these next thirty days and take your focus off of yourself and your circumstances and put your focus back on God.

For More Encouragement

If this hits home with you, especially with the crisis in Ukraine, read my post, Finding Peace in Non-peaceful Times.