Do you ever stop and notice how fast life is passing you by? I do. It seems like just yesterday we had four little ones under six. In the blink of an eye, we have two teenagers and two tweens. Life just keeps moving on, whether we want it to or not.
You Are Responsible
I read this quote recently in Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley, and it has since become one of my favorites:
You are responsible for the way you’ll look back on your life when you’re eighty years old. You’re in control of the way you’ll feel that day in your rocking chair on your front porch.
from Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley
A Life Well-Lived
I love this quote for what it represents. It represents a life well-lived. It’s the idea of a person sitting in a rocking chair on their front porch and reflecting back on life. The simple fact of the matter is that all of us are headed towards that. There’s going to be a chance one day to sit and reflect, to look back on our lives. Will we look back with regret or in gratitude for the life we lived?
All of us want to look back on our lives with gratitude and not regret, but how do we do that now? What do we need to do to be sure that happens? The answer could be so many things–spend time with the ones we love, work hard, start each morning with God, serve others, fulfill God’s purpose for your life…and on and on the list could go. Or we could boil it down to one thing:
Take responsibility for that future today.
If we lived today (and every day after that) with that truth in mind, we will live on purpose. We will spend time doing all those things mentioned above–spending time with the ones we love, finding God’s purpose for our lives, starting each morning with God, and more.
Life is Short
Life is short. David reminds us of that over and over again.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”
Psalm 39:4, 5 NLT
Before we know it, life will be passed. We will be the one sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch. Will we look back on our life with regret? Or will we reflect on the amazing life God gave us and know that we made the very best of the time we were given? You are responsible for the answer to that question.
I don’t know if you’re like me, but I often find myself running around frazzled, defeated, overwhelmed, and most days just plain tired. Part of it is the stage of life I’m in, but part of it is this driving force to work harder, do better, accomplish more. Somehow, I’ve convinced myself that if I just try harder, I can have it all—a clean and organized home, perfect homeschool days, fitting in my writing every day, having people into my home, ministering to others…on and on the list goes. The simple fact is I can’t do everything, not all at the same time. Sometimes, I just need grace. I’m reading Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley right now and loving it. I love all her books! They are so filled with practical wisdom and advice for a mom trying to do it all.
Feeding My Soul
A few days ago, I read something in her book that really made me stop and think about what I’m feeding my soul. Our soul is what makes up our character, thoughts, feelings…who we really are inside.
If our well is fed by a stream of comparison, anxiety, and stress, guess what we will have to give to our families? Sharp words, headaches, and impatience will brim to the top. Nothing good can come out of that poisoned well. But what would we have if we let our wells be filled with things like rest, laughter, confidence, good tea, hugs, and adventure? I want to overflow with that sweet water.
from Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley
What Comes Out of the Heart
Jesus taught this same message to his disciples when he talked about fruit. He taught that a good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. Then he talked about our hearts—how what we say comes out of our heart.
A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Luke 6:45 NLT
Pulling from a Poisoned Well
If we constantly fill our soul with social media, carefully curated images of other people’s homes, comparison, anxiety, stress, feelings of not enough, overwhelm, shame, and guilt, what’s going to come out?
First, there’s the emotional toll—anger, bitterness, gossip, the need to put others down. Then comes the physical toll—headaches, body pain, sleepless nights, heart racing, and more. Just like Emily said, it’s like pulling from a poisoned well.
Why would we do that to ourselves? Why would we fill our minds with things that don’t bring us peace, hope, and joy? I think it has to do with the fact that it’s easy; it’s mindless. In a world that’s filled with stress and decisions and work to be done, it’s easier to just sit and mindlessly scroll.
Filling Up With Joy
Instead, we need to find opportunities for joy. Do more things that make us smile, that fill us up. Spend more time doing the things we love with the people we love most. I’m not good at this, at all; but it’s something I want to do better with.
This last week, we got a chance to do this. We got to spend a few days at the beach with my parents. We spent time together eating good food, laughing, playing games, and just spending time together. We also fit in a few sunrises because that brings me incredible joy.
What can you do right now in your present circumstances to add more of what you love, what brings you joy, what fills you up? How can you spend more time doing things with the people you love and putting into them instead of into things that don’t matter. I’m challenging myself to find ways to spend more time doing things with my kids, creating opportunities for love and laughter, and finding ways to just add more joy to my life.
My kids have this thing they do. I call it “hovering.” They call it “Dad, I need you attention right now, even though it’s not life or death and no one’s bleeding, I need to see your eyeballs RIGHT NOW!” Or something like that.
They will stand next to me, put their head on my shoulder, and sigh in my ear. Some days I tell them, “This is my ‘No-No’ square. Don’t touch me anywhere.” On my better days, I ask them what they need.
Most times they want something to eat, drink, or a new app downloaded on a device. My oldest usually has a high-priced pair of sneakers he wants. You know what my response will be? “Christmas is coming.”
What Do You Want?
The other day, my youngest pulled the old “hover-head-shoulder-sigh” approach. “Yes, can I help you,” I said like a British butler.
“Dad, when a movie maker person wants to use an actor in a movie and another movie person wants to use the same actor in a movie…do you know what I mean?”
“Yes, my love. I understand what you mean.”
“Well, I’m wondering how does that work?” she asked.
She didn’t need a toy or a treat. She just wanted some time. So, we had a nice little chat about movies, actors, production schedules, and theater release dates. You know, the usual stuff dads and daughters chat about.
Taking the Next Step
I loved that conversation. We connected over something she’d been thinking about. I don’t know that I had the right answers, but it sure was fun watching the wheels turn in her head. I love watching things grow. My grass…not so much. But my kids, you betcha.
I love watching people take their next step in their walk with God. I love it when someone pursues a dream they’re passionate about. Watching people take steps of faith and risk certainty for the clarity that God is calling them to launch out into a new adventure is something that lights me up. All they have is the wind at their back and their eyes of faith fixed on God.
God Loves To Hear Your Voice
Sometimes my kids need things. Who am I kidding? My kids need things all the time. But there are times when they just want to talk. They want to get something off their chest. They want to understand why something is the way it is. Why do some kids say unkind things? Will people ever stop hurting each other? Why does a trip to Papa and Grandmas take so long? Why does Christmas feel like it will never get here? What is heaven going to be like? Will you and mom ever stop kissing? Just the everyday run of the mill kind of questions.
Sometimes my kids will hesitate to ask a question. They might be afraid I’ll say no. They might not be able to verbalize what they’re trying to say. Or they think I’m too busy to take the time to listen.
Jesus Teaches Us How to Ask
In Matthew 7, Jesus tells us about prayer. But more so, he tells us about how our Heavenly Father handles our prayers.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
Matthew 7:7-12 NLT
Jesus tells us to ask, seek, and knock. What’s the difference?
Asking means that we need to know an answer to a question. Asking means that we need God to provide for a need.
Seeking means that we are trying to find something we’ve lost; we’re looking for something we value. Seeking means we are trying to uncover something that’s hidden.
Knocking means that we want to be on the other side of the door. We want access to what is beyond the door. We want to get into the room, and we want to leave the cold, the emptiness, and the uncertainty.
Keep Asking
Jesus uses the word “keep” in relation to each of those actions. Why? Jesus wants us to keep asking even after we’ve received. He wants us to keep seeking even after we’ve found. He wants us to keep knocking even after the doors been answered. Why? God wants us to realize it’s not about receiving, finding, or being answered. He wants us to engage him, pursue him, and connect with him continually.
God wants you to ask him the stupid, silly, and foolish questions. He wants you to ask the hard, heart-breaking, and doubt-filled questions. He’s okay with that. He can handle that. He’s God after all; He can handle a lot of things.
“Think of what He can do, and how He delights to hear the prayers of His redeemed people. Think of your place and privilege in Christ, and expect great things!”
Andrew Murray
He’s Waiting for You to Ask
Jesus wraps it up with an illustration. If a child asks for bread or a fish, will a parent give them a stone or a snake? Of course not. He then uses our humanity to reveal God’s divinity. Jesus says, “If you’re an imperfect, sinful parent, and you know how to love on your kids, how much more will a perfect and holy God know how to give his kids good gifts when they ask?”
God is just waiting for you to ask. Will he always drop a thousand dollars into your bank account? Nope. But he wants you to ask the question. He wants you to talk to him. He’s waiting. He’s willing, and he’s listening.
I’m praying that you’ll take the time, even risk it to ask God, to engage God.
