Comparing ourselves to others is so easy; in fact, it’s too easy. Social media channels make it the easiest thing to see the perfect moments in somebody else’s life and feel the pressure that we don’t measure up. Do any of these thoughts feel familiar?
Comparing Ourselves
My house doesn’t look like that. I don’t know how she does that. She looks really good. How does she dress like that and look so good all the time? How are their kids so smart? Why doesn’t my husband say those things about me? I wish we had that kind of money. I wish we had a house like that. If we had more money, we could do that too. How do they make enough to get that car, that vacation, that….fill in the blank.
Have you ever found yourself spiraling with thoughts like these after being on social media? It doesn’t just have to come from social media, either. It can happen after going over to someone else’s house, after meeting with a friend for coffee, after seeing a commercial on tv. We find these thoughts pinging at us constantly. Satan knows just how to show us something that makes us want more than we have or make us think we don’t have enough.
Shaming Ourselves
Usually then, we take it one step further. We begin to shame ourselves for not measuring up to another person or idea. We feel completely inept and imperfect, and we begin to doubt ourselves. Then come the thoughts that paralyze us and keep us from moving forward.
I can’t do this. This isn’t working. I am a complete failure. How can anybody love me or stand to be around me? Why can’t I figure out life like everybody else? Why am I the only one who doesn’t have their act together?
I am so convinced that this is one of the greatest weapons Satan uses to keep us from doing what God wants us to do. He uses these doubts and questions to keep us side-lined or at least distracted. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, if we constantly doubt ourselves and feel shame, how in the world can we be of any use to God? The answer is we can’t be.
Emily Freeman, in her book, Simply Tuesday, says this:
The best way to sabotage my own success is to be obsessed with someone else’s.
Emily Freeman
Focusing Ourselves
The surest way to not succeed and not move forward in life is to focus on other people and their successes. Paul tells us how to combat this problem in the book of Galatians.
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.
Galatians 6:4,5 NLT
And we’re reminded of the foolishness of comparing ourselves to others in II Corinthians.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
II Corinthians 10:12 KJV
Freeing Ourselves
So how do we free ourselves from the trap of comparison? Here are a few ways to get you started:
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Refuse to compare yourself or your work to other people or what they are doing. Keep your head down and stay focused on your own work.
- Take a break from social media, or limit your time on social media.
- Spend extra time each day practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a great way to combat envy.
- Start each day with God and get consistent with a morning time routine.
- Spend some time writing down your successes. What has God allowed you to accomplish? Then thank God for those successes.
Above all, remember that God created you uniquely you and gave you the talents and abilities needed to do the work he wants you to do. That’s all you have to focus on.
More Encouragement
For more on this topic, check out Sandra Stanley’s devotional Comparison Trap. It’s a 28-devotional and has a free accompanying app with corresponding videos.
You can also check out my Finding Free Products.
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