Is your faith strong enough to stand on? We think we have faith until everything falls apart around us; then we really see how much faith we really have.
When My World Came Crashing Down
A little over two years ago, my faith was tested, and it surprised me how weak my faith really was. I’ve always considered myself to have a lot of faith, but sometimes being tested is a true sign of where you are at.
Over the course of just a few months, we lost several giving families in our church. For a small church plant, that was devastating. I remember Matt’s face when he told me that we wouldn’t be able to make payroll that month. I just stared at him.
“What does that mean?” I asked, totally surprised, even though I knew exactly what it meant.
“It means we don’t get paid,” he said before leaving the room.
I sat there for a few minutes, then prayed. “God, we really need you to come through for us. Please provide for us.” I left the table and moved about my day, confident that God would come through for us. He had come through for us so many times in the past, why would this time be any different? Little did I know, God wouldn’t come through for us that month. Nor would He the month after that and the month after that.
Going From Bad to Worse
The next several months brought all kinds of mayhem with it. I watched as our carefully planned life and ministry came crashing down around us. Things went from bad to worse, and I had no idea how to fix it. My faith was stretched so much, I thought I was going to lose it altogether.
Weeks stretched into months, the bills piled up, the credit card maxed out, and we were in serious trouble. Talks of shutting the church down took place. Through it all, I felt like my head was spinning. I couldn’t wrap myself around the fact that God wasn’t providing. Where was He? My family was in the middle of a huge financial crisis, and He was nowhere to be found. I didn’t have the kind of faith that could keep trusting When God Doesn’t Meet My Need. This was all brand new to me, and I could literally feel my faith slipping away.
Excerpt from The Hidden Pain
From my book, The Hidden Pain
This past year and a half rocked my faith. It’s only now that I can look back with just a little clarity, and I’ve realized something about my faith. My faith was weak. I thought it was strong, but it wasn’t. I had what I call a one-to-one faith with God when it came to provision. When I had a need, I prayed; and God would answer. Prayer… answer. He didn’t always answer right away, but He always came through. I understood about things such as illnesses and loss and other requests that God may never answer. But God providing for us? That was easy.
My faith had always worked for me in the past. Now, I was in unchartered waters. This was entirely new. I had never dealt with God not providing. God was taking my faith deeper, and it was painful. This new faith required me to trust God, even when He didn’t provide. This was a much deeper faith. Now it was affecting my kids.
God was saying, “Amanda, will you choose to trust me even when I don’t pay your bills on time? Will you believe that I am good, even when it doesn’t seem like it?” That’s real faith! Easy faith is when you ask for help, and God provides. It takes deep faith when you ask God to provide, and He doesn’t.
The Hidden Pain: When You Feel God is No Longer Blessing Your Life
A New Kind of Faith
I had to learn this new kind of faith. Honestly, I didn’t think my faith would make it through that testing. I believe God let me come to the absolute end of myself to show me what my faith really looked like.
In the book of Mark, Jesus taught His followers about different kinds of seeds that fall to the ground and why some grow and others don’t. I think we can make a direct correlation to our faith.
4 Kinds of Faith
1. A Dissipating Faith
The farmer plants the Word. Some people are like the seed that falls on the hardened soil of the road. No sooner do they hear the Word than Satan snatches away what has been planted in them.
Mark 4:14,15 MSG
This first kind of faith is over before it’s even really started. This person’s faith dissipates before they ever start their journey of faith.
2. An Emotional Faith
And some are like the seed that lands in the gravel. When they first hear the Word, they respond with great enthusiasm. But there is such shallow soil of character that when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.
Mark 4:16, 17 MSG
This kind of faith touches a little closer to home. This is the kind of faith that is strong, passionate, and ready to conquer the world. That is until a trial comes. This faith is built on emotions. “If I feel good about my faith, I will stand strong. If I don’t feel it and can’t see it, my faith begins to waver.”
3. A Fearful Faith
“The seed cast in the weeds represents the ones who hear the kingdom news but are overwhelmed with worries about all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get. The stress strangles what they heard, and nothing comes of it.
Mark 4:18,19 MSG
The what if’s of life stop this kind of faith from moving forward. This faith stops growing when fear settles in. “I really want to follow God, but what if it costs more than I’m willing to pay? What if it’s holding me back from where I need to be in life?” That kind of faith eventually fizzles out.
4. A Durable Faith
But the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the Word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams.”
Mark 4:20 MSG
This is the kind of faith I want to have. I want to have the kind of faith that says, “Okay, God, no matter what happens, I’m all in.” God rewards that kind of faith, allowing us to produce a harvest beyond our wildest dreams.
Faith Check-up
It’s a good time to do a check-up on our faith as we head towards the end of this crazy year of 2020. This year has rocked even the strongest of faith. Some have stood strong, while others have crumbled.
If you’re still standing strong, I want to link arms with you, come alongside you and stand with you. Keep standing. Keep getting up early to spend time with God. Keep doing what it is God has called you to do. Start or stick with a morning time routine.
If your faith has crumbled, it’s time to stand back up, brush the dirt off, and move forward. Faith is not about never failing, never falling, it’s about Getting Back Up After Falling. I want to link arms with you and help you stand strong once again.
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