Tag Archives: alone

A Disastrous Date and My God Problem

2 Replies
our disastrous date at chick fil a

Our Disastrous Date

Last week, Matt and I went to Chick-fil-A for our weekly breakfast date. I was really tired, and that’s not a great setup for a good date. Nevertheless, I pushed myself to get ready and get out the door, convinced I could make this work.

Well, you can probably see the handwriting on the wall. It didn’t go well. We started talking, and I started sharing. No matter what Matt said, no matter how he tried to encourage me, I was just not having it. Finally, he got frustrated because I obviously didn’t want to be pulled out of the dark hole I was in.

By the time our date finished, we hadn’t really solved anything; and both of us were discouraged and frustrated. The drive home was silent. When we got almost home, Matt pulled over. We both knew if we pulled up in front of the house, the kids would come running out. That would ruin any chance we had of trying to make things right. We talked for a few more minutes. Both of us apologized, and I told him I was really tired. I shouldn’t have even brought up some of the things I said because I wasn’t in a frame of mind for dealing with it.

My Meltdown

We came home after that. A few minutes later, I was swamped with school questions, fighting kids, and a messy house. I went upstairs to the bathroom to have a few minutes of peace, if I was lucky. (Moms, you know what I mean!)

I sat down on the toilet with the lid down and looked out the window, utterly dejected. After a few minutes, I prayed and told God how tired and frustrated I was and how I had made such a mess of things on our date. Sitting quietly for a moment, I waited; and God brought this thought to mind.

“Do you feel better? You shared your frustrations, fear, worry, and anger with Matt. Do you feel better for it?” I answered the rhetorical question. No. Ironically, I had done the exact same thing a few weeks ago. I hadn’t felt any better after that date either. So why did I do it again? Then this thought hit me. There are certain fears, worries, cares, concerns that you can only take to God. Once that thought hit me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It suddenly seemed so clear. I was trying to get Matt to meet this deep inner need that he was never going to be able to meet.

My Struggle was with God

See the struggle I was having was with God. I was frustrated with God not coming through on things I thought he should. My faith was fragile that day. I was hurt and felt unloved by God. All of those things I was feeling should have been directed to and dealt with by God. Instead, I took them to my husband, expecting him to be able to do something about it.

God reminded me in the few silent minutes I carved out in the bathroom that there are certain needs I have that only God can fill. That emptiness, loneliness, hurt, and pain is a God-sized hole in our heart that only he can fill.

I’m not going to be a sadist and say that you need to go at it alone, that only God can meet your needs, and you don’t need other people. That’s absolutely not true, and God has really showed me over the last few years how incredibly much I need people in my life. But there are times, I believe, that only God can meet us in that dark place that we’re in. And if we try to tell other people about it or bring them into the darkness with us, it only makes things worse.

Finding God in the Darkness

So, if you find yourself in the boat I was in, if you feel like your heart is cracking. You’re struggling with your faith, hurt, and fears. You’ve tried to talk to other people, but no matter what they say, you can’t be encouraged, it may be that you have a God problem that only God can fix.

So stop getting frustrated with people who can’t fix you. Look up and talk to the only one who can really meet you in this dark place. Let him be the one to hear your burdens, fears, worries, and concerns. Remember I Peter 5: 7, one of my favorite verses.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

I Peter 5:7

If we can begin to understand this concept of taking our deepest fears and concerns to God instead of other people, we will find he is there for us. He’s been waiting all along to carry those burdens for us; he was just waiting for us to release them to him.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement along these lines, check out my post, Finding the Tenacity to Wrestle with God. A good book recommendation is Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore. I read it a few years ago and need to read it again. It’s a really good book.

When You Feel Like God Has Forgotten You

Leave a reply

Feeling Alone

Do you ever feel utterly alone? Do you sometimes feel as though God has forgotten you? We know God says He will never leave us, nor forsake us. So why do we feel at times that He is so far away?

Are you facing pressures and frankly feel like God has forgotten you? You are not alone. There are times when I feel like my prayers aren’t being answered. I feel like He isn’t listening to me. Sometimes it’s a feeling that comes and goes; other times, it’s a feeling that won’t go away.

What do you do when God hasn’t answered your prayers, and you feel like He is silent? What happens when you don’t know the next step to take and feel utterly alone?

God Left Hezekiah

A few weeks ago, I read a really interesting verse in II Chronicles during my morning time. I was reading about the life of Hezekiah. Hezekiah was the thirteenth king of Judah. He sought God with all his heart in every aspect of his life, and God prospered him because of it.

And in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, and in the law, and in the commandments, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart, and prospered. II Chronicles 31:21

Great things happened during Hezekiah’s reign. God defended Hezekiah and his people and blessed them during his reign. But there’s a very interesting verse that appears in II Chronicles 32.

…God left him, to try him, that he might know all that was in his heart. II Chronicles 32:31

If you read in II Chronicles, you read all about Hezekiah’s success and blessing from God; and then all of a sudden you stumble upon this verse. What? God left him… God left Hezekiah?

Hezekiah sought God with all his heart. He was a Godly king who did everything right. Yet God left him.

When God is Silent

I realize that this is the Old Testament, and the Holy Spirit hadn’t come to earth to stay yet. So God’s presence came and went in the Old Testament. If we are saved, we now have the Holy Spirit living inside of us. We can’t truly be without God. But consider this for a moment. If God left a Godly king for a time to see what was in his heart, could it be possible that God allows us times when He is silent in our lives? Does He allow us to go through a time where it is “as if” He left us so that He can see what’s in our heart?

I believe it is entirely possible. How do I know this? Because I have been through it a few times in my life. I have encountered a few specific times when God is absolutely silent. I still have my morning time every morning when I pray, read my Bible and journal. There’s no great sin in my life that I’m aware of. I am actively seeking God with all my heart. And yet…He seems so far away. I pray and don’t get any answers. I feel like I am walking in absolute darkness.

Could it be that God uses these times to test what is in our hearts? Will we continue to follow Him even when we can’t see our way clearly? Do we trust Him explicitly even though it doesn’t make sense? Is our faith strong enough to withstand the silence? Will I stay faithful, when all I want to do is run?

What Do You Do When God Seems So Far Away?

I don’t know if you have ever had a time like this in your life? Maybe you are there right now. I am. I am in a place where I need to hear God’s voice and know His peace. Yet right now, He feels so far away. What do you do during this time? How do you get through?

I don’t have all the answers. I haven’t gotten this all worked out yet, but I do know three things that we have to do during times of uncertainty.

1. Wait. Don’t move from where God has you. Don’t make any major decisions during this time. In other words, don’t do anything stupid.

Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. Philippians 4:1

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him… Psalm 37:7

2. Choose Joy. As hard as it is, choose to joy in the circumstance.  Choose joy in the midst of the uncertainty.

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4

3. Stay Faithful. God hasn’t forgotten you. Know this: The work God is doing in your life and in mine is for a purpose and for a season. This time of testing and proving won’t last forever. Nobody’s testing and trials in the Bible lasted forever. The testing served its purpose, and then the trial was over. Until we have the answers, our job is to stay faithful.

And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. Psalm 9:10

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Ecclesiastes 3:1

This time of silence will come to an end. God is still there. He hasn’t forgotten you. He is testing you to see what is in your heart. Wait for Him to work, choose to joy in this season, and stay faithful.