My Friend’s Text

A friend of mine messaged me this week that she is at the edge of burnout. She didn’t use those words exactly, but after she told me how she is feeling…that is the word I would use to describe what she’s going through. She told me she feels tapped out in every area of life and just can’t keep going. That is the very definition of burnout. Webster’s Dictionary defines burnout as “exhaustion of physical or emotional strength usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.”

Have you been there? Are you there right now? We all have times in our lives when we just hit the wall, when we just absolutely feel like we can’t keep going. With life so incredibly stressful now with the lasting impact of Covid, the social unrest, the stress of finances, and more, so many of us are facing burnout.

My Burnout

I went through a season of serious burnout about six years ago. It was right on the heels of a car fire we had. Multiple things merged during that time that sent me spiraling into burnout. 

Because of the real fear I felt, knowing that someone had set fire to our car, I no longer slept well at night. Add to that a baby and a toddler and two other young kids, I was exhausted all the time. This was also around the time that we had several church members get mad at us and leave the church. On top of all that, we were trying to grow our church and find a new building to meet in. I was past being able to handle life.

I felt unloved, helpless, overlooked, overworked, exhausted, tapped out, and stressed out of my mind. What resulted was an inability to be around people. That is not good when you’re a pastor’s wife. Although I knew it wasn’t healthy, I honestly just could not be around people. I just wanted to be alone or with my family. This, in turn, only added to my guilt and frustration.

It took me a good eighteen months to get through that season of life. Though it was long and hard, God got me through it.

How are You Handling Life?

Have you been there? Are you there now? Everybody handles burnout differently. You may be handling your burnout fine all day at work, but then you come home and fall apart. You eat junk food and binge tv late into the night to cope. Maybe you’re home all day with kids that are home from school from covid and you can’t take one more minute. So what results is mom screaming and yelling all day long, only to fall in bed at night in tears for the way you handled yourself with your kids. Maybe you pull away from everybody and spend copious time alone. Maybe you try to find an escape, spending money you don’t have just to feel good and try to find an escape. I am guilty of doing all of these things at one time or another.

Encouragement

Let me first encourage you that burnout is not bad. Burnout is simply your body and mind’s way of telling you you’ve pushed too hard for too long. It’s a warning that if you don’t back off now, there will be literal physical consequences to your body. 
So if you’re in a season of burnout right now, it’s time to stop and notice what your body is trying to tell you.

Let me share with you some things that helped me. Hopefully, one or two of them will help you get through your season of burnout.

10 Things You Can Do to Combat Burnout

1. Get extra rest. During this season, you are going to need more rest than usual. Find ways to get extra rest. Fit in a nap when you can. Try to go to bed earlier at night on the nights you can.
2. Plan a weekly day off. You need to have one day a week that you do nothing stressful. Do something that you enjoy on that day.
3. Find quiet time. Find time away from everybody, away from the traffic and noise of the city, and go somewhere to find peace and quiet, even if it’s only for an hour. Go sit at a park, take a walk, find a lake to sit next to…do something to get away for just a little bit and give yourself breathing room.
4. Remove extracurricular activities for a time. Get rid of anything but the essentials. Say not to anything you can just until you get past this season. You need to find ways to remove some of the stress right now.
5. Make things easy for yourself right now. Throw food in the crock pot every morning so you don’t face 5pm decision fatigue trying what to decide to cook for dinner. Order groceries online and pick them up or better yet, get them delivered. 
6. Develop a morning time routine. It’s imperative that you find time to spend with God daily right now. This will help keep you grounded and keep you from spiraling out of control and doing something you regret.
7. Read an encouraging book. Find a book that can encourage your heart.
8. Listen to uplifting Christian music. Create a list of music on Spotify that contains only spiritually uplifting music.
9. Do something for yourself for fun. Buy a new book, some new art supplies, a cute shirt or pair of shoes, a writing journal, a new wall painting, or whatever small joy that brings a smile to your face.
10. Let someone know you are struggling so they can pray for you and check in with you. Suffering alone is the absolute worst thing you can do.

This Time Will Come to an End

It’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever. This season of burnout won’t last forever, even though it feels like it will. God will get you through this season. Stay faithful to Him and let Him carry you through this time. Here’s a few verses to encourage your heart.

Thank God because he’s good, because his love never quits.

Psalm 118:1 MSG

In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free.

Psalm 118:5 NLT

I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall, when God grabbed and held me.

Psalm 118:13 MSG

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

I Corinthians 10:13 MSG

More on This Topic

For More Encouragement on this topic, check out my post Fresh Hope for a Burned-Out Life. I recommend Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist and Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy by All Worthington.