Tag Archives: comparison

Finding Freedom from Comparing Ourselves

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Comparing ourselves to others is so easy; in fact, it’s too easy. Social media channels make it the easiest thing to see the perfect moments in somebody else’s life and feel the pressure that we don’t measure up. Do any of these thoughts feel familiar?

Comparing Ourselves

My house doesn’t look like that. I don’t know how she does that. She looks really good. How does she dress like that and look so good all the time? How are their kids so smart? Why doesn’t my husband say those things about me? I wish we had that kind of money. I wish we had a house like that. If we had more money, we could do that too. How do they make enough to get that car, that vacation, that….fill in the blank.

Have you ever found yourself spiraling with thoughts like these after being on social media? It doesn’t just have to come from social media, either. It can happen after going over to someone else’s house, after meeting with a friend for coffee, after seeing a commercial on tv. We find these thoughts pinging at us constantly. Satan knows just how to show us something that makes us want more than we have or make us think we don’t have enough.

Shaming Ourselves

Usually then, we take it one step further. We begin to shame ourselves for not measuring up to another person or idea. We feel completely inept and imperfect, and we begin to doubt ourselves. Then come the thoughts that paralyze us and keep us from moving forward.

I can’t do this. This isn’t working. I am a complete failure. How can anybody love me or stand to be around me? Why can’t I figure out life like everybody else? Why am I the only one who doesn’t have their act together?

I am so convinced that this is one of the greatest weapons Satan uses to keep us from doing what God wants us to do. He uses these doubts and questions to keep us side-lined or at least distracted. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, if we constantly doubt ourselves and feel shame, how in the world can we be of any use to God? The answer is we can’t be.

Emily Freeman, in her book, Simply Tuesday, says this:

The best way to sabotage my own success is to be obsessed with someone else’s.

Emily Freeman

Focusing Ourselves

The surest way to not succeed and not move forward in life is to focus on other people and their successes. Paul tells us how to combat this problem in the book of Galatians.

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

Galatians 6:4,5 NLT

And we’re reminded of the foolishness of comparing ourselves to others in II Corinthians.

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

II Corinthians 10:12 KJV

Freeing Ourselves

So how do we free ourselves from the trap of comparison? Here are a few ways to get you started:

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others. Refuse to compare yourself or your work to other people or what they are doing. Keep your head down and stay focused on your own work.
  2. Take a break from social media, or limit your time on social media.
  3. Spend extra time each day practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a great way to combat envy.
  4. Start each day with God and get consistent with a morning time routine.
  5. Spend some time writing down your successes. What has God allowed you to accomplish? Then thank God for those successes.

Above all, remember that God created you uniquely you and gave you the talents and abilities needed to do the work he wants you to do. That’s all you have to focus on.

More Encouragement

For more on this topic, check out Sandra Stanley’s devotional Comparison Trap. It’s a 28-devotional and has a free accompanying app with corresponding videos.

You can also check out my Finding Free Products.

When Everybody Else is Succeeding Except for You

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When Everybody Else is Succeeding Except for You

Do you ever feel like everybody else is succeeding in life except for you? Sometimes it feels like everybody has their act together except for us. Of course, the way this most often manifests itself is on social media. Everybody on social media is succeeding; at least, that’s how it feels

I’m not usually one of those people that has to take a break from social media. I am on social media often because of trying to build a platform for my books and for Manney Resources. Usually, I can hop on, scroll around, and hop off and it doesn’t bother me. Lately though, it’s been a source of continual frustration.

My Own Personal Struggle

Let me peel back the curtains and give you a glimpse into my personal life. I write books and blog posts for Faithfully Stepping, but I also write fantasy fiction books under my pen name, A. J. Manney.

Well, there is a young mom on Instagram that started writing this past year. She’s an independent author like myself and published her first book on Amazon in November of 2020. She had very little social media presence prior to her book launch.

Her book has done exceptionally well. She has over four hundred reviews already for it. She’s written three more books since then, and they’re all doing really well. Meanwhile, my book hasn’t even hit twenty reviews yet, and it’s been out for a year longer than hers. Watching her book take off has been incredibly hard for me. I’ve really struggled with wondering whether I should even continue down this path.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why it is I’m not succeeding, trying to figure out what to change. I’ve cried, stressed, worked harder, tried more things, only to come up empty time and time again. I’ve been so frustrated with it lately, and I feel like every time I jump on social media I see somebody else who is killing it. It’s really been defeating for me.

Then God gave me a simple reminder a few days ago that came in the form of a simple flower.

Two Different Flowers

When you look at the two pictures below, what do you notice? How are they different? Which one do you want in your home?

flower succeeding in full bloom

I think we would all say that we love the first flower. It’s beautiful. It’s in full bloom and doing what it was created to do. The second flower, not so much. It’s not beautiful yet. It’s actually kind of ugly at the moment. It doesn’t draw our attention like the first flower does.

I saw these two flowers the other day and snapped a picture. God brought this thought to mind, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since: There is only one difference between the first flower and the second…time. Both flowers receive the same amount of sunlight and water. The same caretaker cares for them. They are similar in every way except one bloomed sooner than the other.

When it’s the right time, that second flower is going to bloom. It will be beautiful. It will catch people’s eye. No one will remember when it was ugly; they will only remember it in full bloom

A Time for Succeeding

Solomon reminds us in the book of Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

Ecclesiastes 3:1,2 KJV

If you’re in a season of life right now like I am where you feel like everyone around you is succeeding, but you’re not and no matter how hard you work, you just can’t seem to get ahead…maybe it’s simply a timing thing.

Remember that God took Moses to the backside of a desert for 80 years before God led him to free the children of Israel. It took fifteen years for David to become King after Samuel anointed him. Joseph was around seventeen when he had his dreams, but it wasn’t until he turned thirty that God brought his dreams to pass and he became second in command of all of Egypt. Jesus waited thirty years before beginning his public ministry that only lasted three years. Yet, those three years of ministry make Him the most well-known person in history.

I think we could agree that each of these people led amazing lives of faith that still inspire us today. Yet each one of them had this in common—they led lives of obscurity until God brought them into the light.

God’s Timing

God’s timing is so much better than ours because he thinks so differently than we do. Why? Because we think only in terms of the here and now. God thinks in view of eternity.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8,9 MEV

If you are feeling right now that you just aren’t where you thought you’d be by now, that you just aren’t succeeding as you should be, let me give you two thoughts to encourage you.

1. It’s a Timing Thing

It’s just not the right time. You just aren’t in full bloom yet. Right now, you’re still growing, still finding your way. When it’s the right time, you are going to bloom…and it’s going to be beautiful.

But don’t stop working hard, pushing, striving, creating, and becoming the best you can be at what you are doing. So when the time is right, you will be ready to succeed.

2. God Is Using the Tension to Push You to Greatness

I’m reading When Women Pray: 10 Women of the Bible Who Changed the World through Prayer by T. D. Jakes as a part of my morning time routine. I’m loving this book. It’s been such an encouragement to me and just what I need right now.

I read this the other day…

Do you realize that God often intentionally brings rivals into your life to provoke you? Not to provoke you to anger or jealousy, but to provoke you to greatness. To poke you and prod you toward the potential He sees in you.

When Women Pray

Go back and read that again. It’s so good, isn’t it? I decided that this author has been brought into my life to provoke me. Not to make me mad or jealous, but simply to push me towards the potential God sees in me. What an amazing way to turn things around. What a great way to think about it!

Who in your life right now is God using to push you towards your potential, towards the greatness He knows is inside of you because He placed it there Himself?

I don’t know where you’re at right now. Maybe this doesn’t even apply to you. But if you are someone who needed to hear this today, I hope these words encourage your heart.

Encouragement for Today

If God has placed someone in your life who is always one step ahead of you. She has more social media followers, she makes more sales or income, has a nicer house, dresses better, and on and on the list goes…realize that she might be in your life simply to push you towards your potential. So don’t get mad. Don’t give up. Use it to push you towards the greatness God has for you.

If it’s a timing issue, there is absolutely not one thing you can do. It’s in God’s hands. Read this verse and let these words encourage your heart.

So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.

I Peter 5:6 MSG

You be you, and let God do the work of promoting you in due time. When it’s the right time, you will bloom and it will be the most beautiful thing to see.