Tag Archives: discouragement

When It All Falls Apart

When Everything Falls Apart

What do you do when it all comes apart? When it feels like everything is crashing and burning around you? How do you find the strength to get up and keep going?

Maybe it’s not even a huge trial. Maybe it’s discouragement or defeat or even shame. You walked into this new year with dreams and goals, and then life hit. And now, it feels so overwhelming. You feel like a failure. You feel less then, not enough. Discouragement has set up camp in your heart, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere.

As a person who is definitely affected by the season changes and the sun, I can get so easily discouraged in the dark, cold, dreary days of January and February. I know that, and I try my best to prepare for it. But sometimes, it still comes anyway. So what do you do? How do you find perspective? How do you find the ability to take a deep breath?

What’s the Answer?

Stop.

Be still.

Look up.

“Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”
Psalm 46:10

It seems too simple. It feels like we have to do more. Try harder. And yet, when it feels like everything is falling apart, the best thing we can do is to be still. Realign ourselves with God. Spend time talking to Him, pouring out your heart before him. And then just sit quietly, in his presence. It’s a lot harder than it seems, but if we can learn to do it, the benefits are incredible.

Peace.

Breathing room for our soul.

An end to anxious thoughts.

Redirection.

New focus.

A Few Songs to Encourage Your Heart

Another way to be still before God is to listen to music that helps us to focus on God. Below are several songs that bring encouragement to my heart, no matter how many times I listen to them.

The advice I give time and time again to people is God hasn’t forgotten you. He sees you. He hears you.

Find a time and a place to just be still this week and reconnect with him and let that be the reset you need to keep moving forward.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, read 3 Ways to Turn Discouragement into Hope. A great book to encourage your heart to dream again and not to get stuck in discouragement is Called to Dream by Rick Warren.

10 Things to Try When Today is Too Hard to Face

When All You Want To Do Is Stay in Bed Today

Some days are just too overwhelming. The pressures, frustrations, hardships, and struggles make it feel like making it through today is impossible. It’s on those days, that it feels like the only thing you can do is crawl back into bed and throw the covers over your head instead of facing the day.

I had one of those days recently. Well, I’ve had more than a few of those days lately. Part of it is some life struggles and trials we’ve been going through, but part of it has been the weather. We’ve had lots of cold, rainy days. Whenever we have lots of rainy days, I struggle with being depressed. It was on one of those rainy, depressing days that I honestly wanted to crawl back into bed and just pull the covers over my head instead of facing the day.

I slept in past when I usually get up and finally made myself do my morning time routine, then take a shower. While I was taking a shower, I thought about this post. What would I say to someone else if they were having a day like I’m having today?

You’re Not Alone

So know that you are not alone. I have days like this. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t make it through the day. Those days are so incredibly long. So here’s my encouragement to you. While I can’t take the pain away, and I can’t fix whatever’s going on in your life, I can come alongside and say, I get it. And I can share a few things that I do to help me make it through a day like that.

10 Things to Try Today

I made a list of ten things to try on a day when you don’t feel like you can make it through. You don’t need to all of them; maybe try one or two on a hard day.

Get out of bed. It feels like the only thing you can do is stay in bed or go back to bed, but choose to climb out of bed. That’s the first step to making it through today.
Take a shower and get dressed for the day. Even if you’re not going to leave your house for the day, still get dressed for the day. This will help you to feel a little more human and will keep you from going right back to bed.
Put on worship music that will direct your thoughts towards God. If you need a list of good worship songs to listen to, try our playlist: 40 Days of Faith. We created that playlist for our spiritual growth campaign at church.
Spend a few minutes doing your morning time routine. Even just a few minutes of reading your Bible or a devotional, praying, and journaling will help your spirit and help you to be able to make it through today.
Eat something. Sometimes getting some good food in us really can help change our spirit. The food can give us energy and the strength to be able to face the day.
Try to get out of the house for even just a few minutes. There’s something about being inside all day that feeds our depression and discouragement. Choose to do one thing that will get you out of the house today. It may be as simple as going for a walk, dropping off a letter at the post office, picking up a prescription. Just do something that gets you out of the house for a few minutes.
Write down at least five things you are thankful for. I’ve heard it said that you can’t be grateful and depressed at the same time. Try it and see! Spend just a few minutes writing down your blessings.
Do something you enjoy. On a day that you’re struggling to make it through the day, do one small thing that brings you joy. Go get a cup of your favorite coffee, read a few chapters of a book you really enjoy, watch an episode of your favorite tv series, go buy a donut from your favorite bakery, take a walk, etc.
Spend time with somebody. When I’m struggling, I want to be by myself. When my husband is discouraged, he needs to be around people. If this is you, call a friend to meet for lunch or for coffee. Call a family member or friend just to talk for a little bit.
Read an encouraging book. There’s been many times in my life when I’ve gone through hard times that a book has been like a balm to my soul. Here’s just a few recommendations: Kisses from Katie, Uninvited, The Hardest Peace, Undone, and The Hidden Pain.

What Do You Do

Those are some of the things that help me when I’m having a really bad day. Try a few of them the next time you’re struggling. Maybe share the list with a friend who’s going through a hard time.

What do you do when you’re having a hard day? What helps you get through? Let me know in the comments below!

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my post, Getting Through This Season of Rainy Days.

Stay Faithful Because a New Season Is Coming

2 Replies

I Hate January!

It’s official. I hate January and don’t really like its cousin February. Every year I try to mentally prep myself for January’s arrival; but no matter how much I try to prepare, it still takes me by storm. Every January our entire family goes down with the flu, usually more than once. Because there are six of us, we just pass it around and around. Well, this January we stayed right on track. Our family was wiped out with the flu, not once, not twice, but three times! I finally bought a bottle of Lysol and sprayed every single thing in our entire house.

What I hate more than all that, though, is the depression I always sink into in January and often into February. We live in Pennsylvania where January and February are just gloomy, cold, wet, snowy, and mostly depressing. Every year I know it’s coming, yet every year I feel like January and February knock me to the ground.

This year was no different. Along with the flu, we have had “life” happening all around us. And you know, life is just messy sometimes. We have been in the midst of the “mess.” I knew it was all affecting me, but I didn’t know how deeply until this past Wednesday at our growth group. Somebody brought up something that was frustrating me and had been on my mind all day, and I hit the roof. I wasn’t upset at them, just upset at the situation. I tried to calm down. As I did, I looked around the room. Everybody was looking at me in shock. One member of our small group said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up before. ” Another person said, “I told my husband that I bet Amanda can be vicious sometimes.”

Apparently I’m Vicious

Vicious? Vicious?! Really?? I sat there in stunned silence, silently arguing in my head that I am not vicious! We were able to turn our small group around, ending the evening on a good note. But that conversation stayed with me long past that night. Vicious? I couldn’t stop thinking about it and feeling sick. I’m a child of God, a pastor’s wife, and this is how people see me? I felt all the pain of that night sinking in. I had been under pressure for the past several weeks and it had all culminated in the perfect storm and I had exploded. You know that saying, “You don’t know what’s in a tea bag until it’s put in boiling water?” Well, who I really was came seeping out on Wednesday night and all of my shame along with it.

Have you ever had a situation like that? You are trying so hard to do what’s right and stay calm but the pressure keeps building until you feel that you can’t take it anymore and Bam! You explode. What do you do? I turned to the only One who can help me.

A Look at Psalm 88

Matt graciously took the kids for a few hours Friday morning so that I could be alone for a little bit. I began my Bible reading and journaling for the day. As apart of my reading, I read Psalm 88, and it was a balm for my brokenness. It personified exactly what I was feeling.

Psalm 88

3 For my soul is full of troubles…

4 …I am as a man that hath no strength.

7 Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves.

8 Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me: thou hast made me an abomination unto them…

9 Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.

The next few verses seemed to jump off the page at me.

11 Shall thy lovingkindess be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?

12 Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

I’m So Broken

God used these verses to remind me that life is not about me. If I don’t get my focus back on God and off of my problems then who is going to teach God’s love to my children? Who is going to remind my husband that God has been faithful before and He will be faithful again? Who will teach the new ladies in our church the amazing wonders God did in the Old and New Testament and how He wants to do an amazing work in their life? And who will share with those still to come to our church that because of Jesus’ righteousness, He offers salvation freely to all?

God reminded me that I am so broken and foolish. Yet that’s Who He uses.

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; I Corinthians 1:27

Going Forward

So how do I go forward? First, I give all my bitterness and frustration to God. Then I look around at the beautiful life He has given me. I can see tiny shoots starting to poke through my grass outside and remember that new life is going to spring up in just a few weeks. I remember that winter will fade and spring will come. And it’s the same in my life. The things that pressure me now, will eventually fade. God promises a time and a season to everything. There is a season coming bringing new life and growth and blessing in my life. God has always brought us through every hard time before, and He will do it again this time.

photo credit: Aaron Burden

Faithfully Stepping

Encouragement for Women on their Journey of Faith