Being a Fixer

How many times do we take matters into our own hands when things aren’t going well in our lives? I am a fixer by nature. I naturally want to help fix people and their problems. It’s kind of my Achilles heel. So when my life feels out of control, or when things aren’t going well, I tend to jump in and start trying to fix things. The problem is that sometimes there is nothing I can do to fix it. Sometimes the struggles I am facing cannot be fixed. Only God stepping in and working in my life can fix the problem- whether it’s financial struggles, an illness, a frustration, a hurt, or an offense. Sometimes I step in and make a bigger mess of things, instead of fixing them.

Taking a Break

Last week, we were dealing with some hardships and discouragements in our church ministry. Some things had taken place and the pressures were taking their toll on us. I actually broke down and started crying at church! We decided after that, it was time for a break.

We spontaneously decided to take a trip to Illinois to visit our family. We had a few days free and felt that we could use the break and the encouragement. So we packed up, loaded the kids into the van, and started the thirteen hour trip to the Midwest. While we were there, Matt and I had a chance to talk through the pressures and difficulties but couldn’t come up with any solutions. Early one morning, God got my attention through my Bible reading.

Our kids having fun at Grandma’s house

I have been reading in the book of Genesis about Joseph.  Joseph is an Old Testament Bible character that teaches us how to endure hardships. The story of Joseph starts with his brothers hating him, ganging up on him, and selling him into slavery. Thirteen years later, through a series of circumstances, he becomes second in command in all of Egypt. It is during this time that his brothers show up again in his life. The brothers are fearful that Joseph will take revenge on them now that he is a powerful ruler. I love Joseph’s response to his brothers.

And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am in the place of God?

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Genesis 50:19,20

Stop Trying to Fix Things

I love these verses and have read them many times before. But that day, they stopped me in my tracks. I felt like God was speaking directly to me.

Amanda, are you God? Are you in the place of Me to decide what is good and right? Stop trying to play My role in your life. Everything I am doing in your life is for a reason. I am orchestrating all the events in your life to shape you into the woman I have created you to be. Stop fighting Me and allow Me to mold you and change you. I can do such a better job of running your life than you can if you would just let Me.

God brought me such a peace that morning as I prayed and once again surrendered to His working in my life. I get so focused on trying to do what’s right and trying to fix myself and everybody around me, that when things don’t go as planned, it can totally rock my world. But God reminded me that I am not Him. I don’t have all the answers, but I can trust that when God is working in me, He’s doing it for His glory and for my good.