I talked with a friend recently who was heartbroken about some things in her life. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I would have never thought I would have done this.” Matt and I listened as she poured her heart out; then we reminded her that God still loved her.
Matt asked her, “Have you confessed it to God and asked his forgiveness?” She nodded and then spoke these words, “But it’s so hard to forgive myself.”
We’ve been there; we’ve all blown it. We have all made mistakes and done things that we wish we wouldn’t have. Sometimes though, it seems impossible to come back from those mistakes.
Will God stop forgiving me?
A friend in our small group recently told us that he had a friend who had done something he didn’t believe God could possibly forgive him for. What do you do when you feel like you can’t come back from something? Is there any sin that’s too much for God to forgive?
David from the Psalms says, “But with you (God) is forgiveness…” (Psalm 130:4) We know God forgives, but does he forgive me? And will he forgive me this time? Will I wear out his forgiveness? What happens when God gives up on me and stops forgiving me?
How often does God forgive?
We get an idea of how Jesus felt about forgiveness when Peter asks him a question about forgiveness one day. Peter asks Jesus this question, “How often do we have to forgive people? About seven times?”
Peter thought he was being really generous in offering the number seven. Yet, Jesus responds with an answer that shocks Peter. Jesus says, “Not seven times. Seventy times seven.”
Is 490 the magic number then? No, Jesus was trying to get Peter to understand the point he was making. We are to forgive and forgive and then forgive some more. If Jesus wants us to forgive that often, how much more is he willing to forgive us?
God is still faithful.
I John 1:9 doesn’t change, no matter how many times we mess up and fall.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I John 1:9
We have to choose to get back up again.
The tough part about falling is getting back up. We have to pick ourselves up off the ground, ask God’s forgiveness, tell him we were wrong, and then choose to move forward. It’s tempting to stay down, to wallow in the messiness of it all. True courage is to stand up, confess, ask God for forgiveness, and move forward.
The hardest part of all of that is to choose to accept God’s forgiveness. Once we’ve confessed it, it’s done. We don’t have to keep confessing or keep reliving it. It’s simply done. God removes that sin from us and thinks about it no longer.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.
Psalm 103: 12, 14
To move forward, we have to accept God’s forgiveness.
We have to choose to let it go. God’s forgiven it; we have to accept that forgiveness and move forward. If we don’t choose to accept his forgiveness, we won’t be able to move forward in life towards all that God has for us.
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When Everybody Else is Succeeding Except for You
Do you ever feel like everybody else is succeeding in life except for you? Sometimes it feels like everybody has their act together except for us. Of course, the way this most often manifests itself is on social media. Everybody on social media is succeeding; at least, that’s how it feels
I’m not usually one of those people that has to take a break from social media. I am on social media often because of trying to build a platform for my books and for Manney Resources. Usually, I can hop on, scroll around, and hop off and it doesn’t bother me. Lately though, it’s been a source of continual frustration.
My Own Personal Struggle
Let me peel back the curtains and give you a glimpse into my personal life. I write books and blog posts for Faithfully Stepping, but I also write fantasy fiction books under my pen name, A. J. Manney.
Well, there is a young mom on Instagram that started writing this past year. She’s an independent author like myself and published her first book on Amazon in November of 2020. She had very little social media presence prior to her book launch.
Her book has done exceptionally well. She has over four hundred reviews already for it. She’s written three more books since then, and they’re all doing really well. Meanwhile, my book hasn’t even hit twenty reviews yet, and it’s been out for a year longer than hers. Watching her book take off has been incredibly hard for me. I’ve really struggled with wondering whether I should even continue down this path.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why it is I’m not succeeding, trying to figure out what to change. I’ve cried, stressed, worked harder, tried more things, only to come up empty time and time again. I’ve been so frustrated with it lately, and I feel like every time I jump on social media I see somebody else who is killing it. It’s really been defeating for me.
Then God gave me a simple reminder a few days ago that came in the form of a simple flower.
Two Different Flowers
When you look at the two pictures below, what do you notice? How are they different? Which one do you want in your home?
I think we would all say that we love the first flower. It’s beautiful. It’s in full bloom and doing what it was created to do. The second flower, not so much. It’s not beautiful yet. It’s actually kind of ugly at the moment. It doesn’t draw our attention like the first flower does.
I saw these two flowers the other day and snapped a picture. God brought this thought to mind, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since: There is only one difference between the first flower and the second…time. Both flowers receive the same amount of sunlight and water. The same caretaker cares for them. They are similar in every way except one bloomed sooner than the other.
When it’s the right time, that second flower is going to bloom. It will be beautiful. It will catch people’s eye. No one will remember when it was ugly; they will only remember it in full bloom
A Time for Succeeding
Solomon reminds us in the book of Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2 KJV
If you’re in a season of life right now like I am where you feel like everyone around you is succeeding, but you’re not and no matter how hard you work, you just can’t seem to get ahead…maybe it’s simply a timing thing.
Remember that God took Moses to the backside of a desert for 80 years before God led him to free the children of Israel. It took fifteen years for David to become King after Samuel anointed him. Joseph was around seventeen when he had his dreams, but it wasn’t until he turned thirty that God brought his dreams to pass and he became second in command of all of Egypt. Jesus waited thirty years before beginning his public ministry that only lasted three years. Yet, those three years of ministry make Him the most well-known person in history.
I think we could agree that each of these people led amazing lives of faith that still inspire us today. Yet each one of them had this in common—they led lives of obscurity until God brought them into the light.
God’s Timing
God’s timing is so much better than ours because he thinks so differently than we do. Why? Because we think only in terms of the here and now. God thinks in view of eternity.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8,9 MEV
If you are feeling right now that you just aren’t where you thought you’d be by now, that you just aren’t succeeding as you should be, let me give you two thoughts to encourage you.
1. It’s a Timing Thing
It’s just not the right time. You just aren’t in full bloom yet. Right now, you’re still growing, still finding your way. When it’s the right time, you are going to bloom…and it’s going to be beautiful.
But don’t stop working hard, pushing, striving, creating, and becoming the best you can be at what you are doing. So when the time is right, you will be ready to succeed.
2. God Is Using the Tension to Push You to Greatness
Do you realize that God often intentionally brings rivals into your life to provoke you? Not to provoke you to anger or jealousy, but to provoke you to greatness. To poke you and prod you toward the potential He sees in you.
When Women Pray
Go back and read that again. It’s so good, isn’t it? I decided that this author has been brought into my life to provoke me. Not to make me mad or jealous, but simply to push me towards the potential God sees in me. What an amazing way to turn things around. What a great way to think about it!
Who in your life right now is God using to push you towards your potential, towards the greatness He knows is inside of you because He placed it there Himself?
I don’t know where you’re at right now. Maybe this doesn’t even apply to you. But if you are someone who needed to hear this today, I hope these words encourage your heart.
Encouragement for Today
If God has placed someone in your life who is always one step ahead of you. She has more social media followers, she makes more sales or income, has a nicer house, dresses better, and on and on the list goes…realize that she might be in your life simply to push you towards your potential. So don’t get mad. Don’t give up. Use it to push you towards the greatness God has for you.
If it’s a timing issue, there is absolutely not one thing you can do. It’s in God’s hands. Read this verse and let these words encourage your heart.
So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.
I Peter 5:6 MSG
You be you, and let God do the work of promoting you in due time. When it’s the right time, you will bloom and it will be the most beautiful thing to see.
My eight-year-old daughter Madison participated in pony camp last week and learned an important lesson about getting back up again. She loves horses and has been begging to have horse lessons. My friend, Kelley, told me she was going to host a pony camp and would love to have Madison be apart of it for the week. We agreed to let Madison give it a try. Every day from 9-3, Madison went to pony camp. She learned how to ride, how to groom and care for the horse, and so much more.
Falling Off the Horse
On the last day, all the parents showed up to watch our kids perform. Our family sat and watched and clapped as the kids performed. We whistled and cheered when it was Madison’s turn. She had a huge smile on her face. It was going great until something spooked her horse. Everything happened at once. Kelley yelled at Madison to hang on and came running from the other side of the corral, Madison’s helper dropped the reins of her horse, and Madison fell off her horse. A second after falling, my friend grabbed Madison in one arm and the reins of the horse in the other. We all let out the breath we had been holding.
It was absolutely silent as everybody watched Madison to see if she was okay. She kept her head buried in Kelley’s neck. Matt walked over and took her from Kelley and brought her to me. By the time I got her, she was sobbing quietly. Madison is usually not very emotional, so it surprised me to see her so worked up. She clung to me as I carried her away from the corral and into the house. I tried to pull her away from me to look at her face, but she wouldn’t let go. I just held her for the next twenty minutes or so.
Recovering from Her Fall
I finally got her to calm down. She told me her foot hurt. The horse stepped on her foot when she fell. Matt came in and checked to make sure her foot was okay. After she settled, Kelley came to check on Madison. She knelt before Madison and talked to her for a little bit. She told Madison that before she left, she wanted her to get back on the horse. I inwardly thought, ” Good luck with that!” I know my daughter, and when she sets her mind on something, there is no moving her.
Getting Back On the Horse
We went back outside to watch the rest of her friends perform. Madison was mostly quiet and just sat with Matt and me. She told me a few times she didn’t want to get back on the horse. I didn’t say anything. Eventually, the show was over. It was time to face the music. I pretty much dragged Madison over to the entrance to the corral. She did not want to go in there, and I was pretty sure nobody was going to get her on that horse. I knew I wouldn’t be able to force her. I just hoped Kelley could work her magic and somehow convince Madison to get back up on the horse.
I’m not even sure how it really happened, but a few minutes later, a very reluctant Madison sat on her horse again, looking scared to death. I was nervous watching her. It took quite a bit of coaxing but finally, Madison started riding again. After a few minutes, she started smiling again. Everybody cheered for Madison as she went through each of the elements she had missed when she fell.
When she finished, everybody cheered; and Madison climbed off her horse with a big smile on her face. She was all smiles for the rest of the day and talked on the way home about going to pony camp next year. I must have told her a hundred times how proud I was of her for facing her fears and getting back up on the horse again.
Madison getting her trophy
Getting Knocked Down
Thinking about that day made me think of our lives. Sometimes life knocks us down. We get knocked on our backside by something we didn’t see coming. We get stepped on and hurt, and our hopes and dreams come crashing down. When that happens, we may need to stay down for a little bit. We may need to cry because of the fear, the pain, the loss of the dream. But don’t stay down for long. Stand back up, shake the dust off, face people again, and ultimately “climb back on the horse.”
It’s easy to climb on the horse the first time, but it’s much harder after you’ve been tossed off. Starting a new job is easy, but it’s hard to start a job after losing the last one. It’s exciting to get married the first time, but it’s scary to try it a second time after a divorce. Putting yourself out there for others is good until you get criticized; then it’s painful. It’s thrilling to start a business, but it’s terrifying to try again after the first one failed.
Getting Back Up Again
There are so many times when life hits us and knocks the ground out from under us. If we’re not careful, we wrap ourselves in a protective bubble and won’t try anything outside our comfort zone again. We have to remember, fear is not of God.
For God hath not given us the spiritoffear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fearis crippling, a fearful life—fearof death, fearof judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. I John 4:18 (MSG)
Being a Hero
Madison became a hero at pony camp. She didn’t do any fancy tricks; she didn’t do anything more complicated than anybody else. She simply chose to get back up when she fell down. Sometimes being the hero is simply getting back up and trying again. I don’t know what has knocked you down, but I am here to encourage you to get back up again. Don’t stay down. Proverbs reminds us to keep getting back up, no matter how many times we have fallen or failed.
For a just man falleth seventimes, and riseth up again… Proverbs 24:16
Stand up, brush off the dirt, and try again. Whatever it is God has called you to do, He will empower you to do it. Stick with it and see it through. You will look back and see that getting back up again was the best decision you ever made.
On Sunday, in church, my husband Matt was preaching about how to handle failure. He had us stop and write in our notes where we have failed. He said that you can not move forward past failure until you have first acknowledged the failure. I stopped to think and started to write down my failures. In that moment, I felt so overwhelmed. I thought of all the ways I had failed in 2017– all the things I wanted to accomplish and didn’t, the frustrations and failures I felt in my personal life and with my kids… and on and on the list went.
Failure can be debilitating if we don’t know how to handle it.
Peter’s Failure
One of the best examples of life after failure is the story of Peter. Peter’s story is so sad, but I can so easily relate to it. In Jesus’ deepest hour of pain and need, Peterone of His closest friends betrays Him. The Bible says that Peter cursed and denied ever knowing Jesus. At that moment, Jesus looked on Peter, Peter heard the rooster crow, and in that moment the weight of his failure sank in. The Bible says that Peter went out and wept bitterly.
How do you come back from a failure like that? Peter, one of Jesus’ closest friends, betrayed Him. Yet Jesus knew Peter was going to do this and gave him advice days before. We find His advice in Luke. Jesus is talking to Peter and says,
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. Luke 22:31,32
Jesus says, “Simon, (Peter) Satan wants to separate you and pull you away from Me. But I have prayed for you, and when you come back to Me… strengthen your brethren.” Jesus knew that Peter was going to fail, so He gave Him what he needed to be able to make it back. “When you do fail, come back to Me,” Jesus said. “And after you come back to Me, use your failure to be an encouragement to your friends and family.”
Less than two months later, Peter preaches at Pentecost and over 3,000 people get saved!
What an encouragement to remember life is not over after failure!
After Failure
Jesus used Peter’s failure in such an incredible way. How can we learn from his example? How do you use your failure to propel you forward to accomplish what God has for you?
Allow your failure to refocus your attention back on Jesus.
Follow your failure up with a second chance. Try again.
Commit to empathy towards others, not just authority. Don’t forget where you’ve come from.
Use your failure to grow your faith.
Leverage your failure with humility and strength.
If we can take those five steps, we will be able to come back after failure stronger than ever and be ready to accomplish what God has for us.
We all want to be winners in life, don’t we? We want to win in our finances, our jobs, our homes, our marriages, our kids, and so much more. I do too; so I read books, listen to podcasts, subscribe to blogs, take classes, and continue to learn and grow. Yet I feel so often like I am not making progress. The goals I had last year are the same goals I have for this year. The dreams I have are just that–they are still dreams. I want to do amazing things and accomplish great goals, yet I feel like I am stuck.
Spinning My Wheels
Sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels; I feel like I am never going to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I take a few steps forward and then everything comes crashing down. We start getting out of debt; then unexpected circumstances and bills put us behind. I start making progress getting my house organized and cleaned; then I get sick and the whole house turns into a disaster zone. Our small church starts to gain a little momentum and grow; then we lose two families. I feel like I’m making progress in being a more loving mom to my kids; then something happens and I totally lose it and yell at my kids.
Getting Back Up Again
I was listening to preaching the other day and heard this quote that caught my attention:
“Everybody wins, and everybody loses. The difference between winners and losers is that winners get back up again.” (Rick Warren, Saddleback Church)
Hearing him say that was such an encouragement, because I fail so often! The Bible has something to say about this concept in the book of Proverbs.
“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” Proverbs 24:1
The only difference between winners and losers is that winners choose to get back up again. They don’t give up. They choose to stand back up after failure, brush themselves off, and go at it again.
Trolls Song
My kids love watching the movie Trolls that came out a few months ago. In the movie, Poppy, the main character, sings a song called Get Back Up Again. I love the lyrics! It goes right in line with this thought.
Hey!
I’m not giving up today
There’s nothing getting in my way
And if you knock-knock me over
I will get back up again
Oh!
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
‘Cause if you knock-knock me over, I will get back up again
Do you have any dreams that you have given up on? What failures have knocked you down? Choose today to stand up, brush yourself off and go at it again. You got this!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
