Tag Archives: joy

Getting Outside Yourself and Your Problems

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world, with our own problems, that we forget about other people and what they’re going through. Worse, sometimes we think we have it the hardest. That is, until we run into somebody that has a harder go of it than us.

Our Neighbor

We talked to one of our neighbors this week. She’s had such a tough go of it. She has skin cancer and has had more surgeries done on her face than anybody should have to go through. Because of that, she doesn’t like to leave the house. And yet this week, she came outside for a few minutes to talk to Matt and I.

She told us that she has several more surgeries to go. My heart hurt for her. Nobody should have to go through that. Cancer is such a terrible thing. Her courage to stand there and talk to us and to keep fighting made me reconsider my own stamina. Our conversation reminded me that I have nothing to complain about.

Overcoming Apathy

We went home and spent the next few days getting some things together for her. So on the day of her next surgery, she came home to a gift bag of goodies, a pumpkin, and a meal. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it was something.

Getting outside of ourselves is such a wonderful way to overcome apathy. It helps give us perspective and makes us thankful for our own problems and trials. How do you get outside of yourself, especially when you’re going through a hard time yourself?

1. Choose joy today.

No matter what we’re going through, we can choose to still be joyful because joy isn’t dependent on our circumstances.

2. Choose to be thankful.

Always remember that somebody has it worse than you do. Matt and I always say that we’re thankful for the trials we have because we know it could be so much worse.

3. Do something for somebody going through a difficult time.

Sometimes, the sheer needs of people are overwhelming. It’s almost debilitating to know who to help. Matt says this, “Do for one what you wish you could do for all.” Do something for that one neighbor who’s going through a hard time. Help out that friend who’s struggling. You can’t help everybody, but you can be God’s light to one person today.

4. Don’t judge.

Talking to our neighbor reminded me that you can never judge. You never know what somebody is going through. So maybe just give somebody grace.

5. Get out in nature.

Sometimes, just getting out in nature helps remind us how small we are and how big and good God is. It helps us to realign our hearts and spirits.

These are a just a few ways to get outside of ourselves and gain perspective, especially if you’re going through a hard time yourself. Don’t forget that God loves you, sees you, and knows exactly what you’re going through today.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my post, Making It Through the Storms of Life. Or check out Kay Warren’s book, Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough.

What I’m Feeding My Soul

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I don’t know if you’re like me, but I often find myself running around frazzled, defeated, overwhelmed, and most days just plain tired. Part of it is the stage of life I’m in, but part of it is this driving force to work harder, do better, accomplish more. Somehow, I’ve convinced myself that if I just try harder, I can have it all—a clean and organized home, perfect homeschool days, fitting in my writing every day, having people into my home, ministering to others…on and on the list goes. The simple fact is I can’t do everything, not all at the same time. Sometimes, I just need grace. I’m reading Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley right now and loving it. I love all her books! They are so filled with practical wisdom and advice for a mom trying to do it all.

Feeding My Soul

A few days ago, I read something in her book that really made me stop and think about what I’m feeding my soul. Our soul is what makes up our character, thoughts, feelings…who we really are inside.

If our well is fed by a stream of comparison, anxiety, and stress, guess what we will have to give to our families? Sharp words, headaches, and impatience will brim to the top. Nothing good can come out of that poisoned well. But what would we have if we let our wells be filled with things like rest, laughter, confidence, good tea, hugs, and adventure? I want to overflow with that sweet water.
from Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley

What Comes Out of the Heart

Jesus taught this same message to his disciples when he talked about fruit. He taught that a good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. Then he talked about our hearts—how what we say comes out of our heart.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Luke 6:45 NLT

Pulling from a Poisoned Well

If we constantly fill our soul with social media, carefully curated images of other people’s homes, comparison, anxiety, stress, feelings of not enough, overwhelm, shame, and guilt, what’s going to come out?

First, there’s the emotional toll—anger, bitterness, gossip, the need to put others down. Then comes the physical toll—headaches, body pain, sleepless nights, heart racing, and more. Just like Emily said, it’s like pulling from a poisoned well.

Why would we do that to ourselves? Why would we fill our minds with things that don’t bring us peace, hope, and joy? I think it has to do with the fact that it’s easy; it’s mindless. In a world that’s filled with stress and decisions and work to be done, it’s easier to just sit and mindlessly scroll.

Filling Up With Joy

Instead, we need to find opportunities for joy. Do more things that make us smile, that fill us up. Spend more time doing the things we love with the people we love most. I’m not good at this, at all; but it’s something I want to do better with.

This last week, we got a chance to do this. We got to spend a few days at the beach with my parents. We spent time together eating good food, laughing, playing games, and just spending time together. We also fit in a few sunrises because that brings me incredible joy.

What can you do right now in your present circumstances to add more of what you love, what brings you joy, what fills you up? How can you spend more time doing things with the people you love and putting into them instead of into things that don’t matter. I’m challenging myself to find ways to spend more time doing things with my kids, creating opportunities for love and laughter, and finding ways to just add more joy to my life.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out my post, My Reminder from a Heart in the Sand.

Comparison Will Always Steal Our Joy

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Social Media

Social media. You either love it, or you hate it. I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I need social media for the work I do. Without social media, I wouldn’t be able to promote the books I write, both my Christian books and my fantasy books. So I love it for that.

The hate part of my relationship is the comparison that comes with it. I see everybody else’s books and how well they are doing, or how many reviews they have. Or I see the wins other people have that I don’t have, and so on…You know how it goes.

Comparison, the Enemy of Contentment

Comparison is the enemy of contentment. In real time, I can be looking at one of my books on Amazon and be pleased because it picked up a few more reviews. I literally scroll down one more book and see a sponsored book that has way more reviews, and I lose any contentment I had with my new reviews.

I don’t know how contentment works for you, but it’s like a slippery eel for me. I grasp hold of it one minute, and then it slips away from me in the next.

Gratitude

One of the best ways I have found to help keep myself on track with comparison is to simply choose to be thankful. Thankfulness is the antidote to comparison. I have found that you can’t be thankful and comparing at the same time. As soon as we start comparing ourselves, we are no longer thankful.

The best way to stay content is to choose to be thankful, always.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
I Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

The way this works best for me is to start my morning by writing down what I’m grateful for in my Faithfully Stepping Journal. This daily habit helps me to stay grateful each and every day. It helps me keep the comparison trap from taking over for the day.

The next time you’re struggling with comparison, choose something to be thankful for instead!

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out The Comparison Trap devotional by Sandra Stanley or read my post, Finding Freedom from Comparing Ourselves.

What It Means to be Surefooted as a Deer

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It’s an interesting comparison that the prophet Habakkuk makes in Habakkuk 3:19; he says that God gives us strength and makes us surefooted as a deer. The King James Version says it this way:

The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.
Habakkuk 3:19 KJV

What is a hind?

A hind is actually a female red deer. I did a little digging this week to better understand this verse. Here’s what I found out. A hind won’t step on anything that is not sure and steady under its feet. What’s so interesting is that she will place her back feet exactly in the same place her front feet went. She is exactly sure footed, not off by an inch. Because of these two abilities, she is able to scale mountains and rocks without any fear of falling. It’s no wonder God told Habakkuk to use a deer as an example of sure footedness.

I haven’t seen too many deer up high in the mountains, but I have seen goats and mountain sheep high on the tops of mountains. It’s amazing to watch them. They are so sure footed, even on the side of a mountain. It’s the most amazing sight! Below are a few pictures I took from the road of big horn sheep climbing the mountains in Colorado.

They are so fearless as they traverse up and down the sides of mountains.

What does living like this look like?

When I see a picture like this with this verse in mind, it helps me to understand more clearly how God wants me to live my life. He wants me to so trust in him and in his goodness that I can literally bound around even dangerous places and not feel an ounce of fear because I know “God’s got this.”

I’m not sure how close to bounding you are right now. You may be the furthest thing away from that, and that’s okay. It just gives us a picture of how God created us and wants us to live. It gives us something to strive towards.

How do we live this way?

How do we live this way? What’s the secret? The secret lies in the preceding verses:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
    and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
    and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
    and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
Habakkuk 3:17,18

If we want the surefooted confidence of a hind, we have to hand over the control of our lives to God and choose to rejoice no matter what comes our way. We can not control the circumstances in our lives, but we can control our response to those circumstances. And the response every time, according to these verses is supposed to be joy. It’s a choice. A choice to choose joy and to be as surefooted as the deer as we make our way through this life, or a choice to choose despair and frustration and find ourselves doubting, questioning, and stumbling on our difficult journey.

What does it mean to choose joy?

These verses are some of the most encouraging yet challenging verses in the Bible. How do we choose joy when life is so hard at times? I think we have to remember that joy doesn’t mean “happy” necessarily. It doesn’t mean we slap a smile on our faces when our world has just fallen apart.

It simply means that in the midst of the heartbreak, we choose to acknowledge that God is still good. That’s where our joy comes from. It comes from this deep place in side of us that goes deeper than simply “happiness.” It’s a deep understanding that I choose to still trust God and not let my circumstances determine my response.

So the next time you see a deer, stop for a moment and just watch it bound effortlessly away and remember these verses and let it remind you to choose joy every time.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my post Enjoy the Stage of Life You’re In.

I would be remiss to not mention a popular older book called Hind’s Feet in High Places that gets its name from these verses.

Staying Resilient in the Midst of Life’s Hard

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Resilient Trees

Trees are resiliant; that’s for sure. A few months ago, we had to have a tree company take down one of the trees in our backyard. When the guy came out to give us a quote, he told us that the tree at some point tried to uproot itself. The entire thing twisted but managed to stay rooted. Now, we’re talking about an eighty-foot plus tree here. The thing was massive. Somehow, it managed to stay upright, even though most of its roots were above ground and the entire thing had twisted.

Verses about Trees

Trees have the ability to stand strong during the worst of storms. I read some verses in Jeremiah this week during my morning time routine that reminded me of the tree we had taken down.

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

Staying Resilient, No Matter the Circumstances

Trees that are healthy can weather the storm and can grow no matter the circumstances. God says that when we trust him and make him our hope and confidence instead of ourselves, that we are like a tree. Not just any tree—a tree that has deep roots, is settled next to water, and stays strong no matter what.

When we trust God no matter what, we become like one of those strong trees. We are able to weather the storms. No matter what circumstances come our way, we are able to stand strong and still produce fruit. What does it mean to still produce fruit? It means we still love others in the midst of our storm, continue to grow in our faith, and choose joy.

Poem about Resilience

I love this poem about resilience by Douglas Malloch.

Good Timber

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees,
The further sky, the greater length,
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

Choosing to Be Resilient

We don’t become who God wants us to be by skating through life without any problems. No, we become strong, faith-filled women by enduring trials and still choosing to be joyful, to love God, and to love others.

If we fail to learn to be resilient, we aren’t going to be able to accomplish what God wants us to. In turn, we will miss the blessings God had for us. If we give up now, the only sure thing is that we will have missed out on what God had in store.

So choose to be resilient. Choose to stand strong in your faith, no matter the circumstances. Keep loving, serving, and choosing joy even when you don’t “feel” like it. Then watch as God grows your faith and makes you like one of those tall trees—able to withstand the storms and always bearing fruit, no matter the circumstances.

For More Encouragement

For more encouragement, check out my post, Developing a Faith that’s Strong Enough to Stand On. Or check out Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis Majors. Katie’s life is a perfect example of being resilient and continuing to love people, even when life is hard.

Handling Hard Better

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Handle Hard Better Video

Matt showed me a video this week on Youtube from the Women’s basketball coach at Duke. It’s been labeled Handle Hard Better. It’s a great quick video that all of us can learn from. Take a quick minute to watch it; it’s worth the time.

The simple fact of the matter is that life is hard. It’s never going to get easier. Instead, we have to learn how to bear up under that hard, handle the hard better. The better we handle the hard we’re dealing with now, the better we make it for the next thing we have to deal with.

Life Doesn’t Get Easier

Matt has a saying. “Life doesn’t get easier, but it gets better.” I don’t know that there ever comes a point and time in life when we say, “Wow. This is so easy right now.” School is hard. College is grueling. Having babies is exhausting. Raising children is no joke. Preparing teens for life is not for the faint of heart. Building a career is no easy feat. Choosing to stay married requires love and sacrifice. On and on the list goes. Life never gets easier, but it can get better. Why?” Because we learn how to handle life as it comes our way.

We can choose to live under our circumstances and let them crush the life and joy out of us, or we can choose to live above our circumstances. I like to think of it this way. We can choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. Except for Eeyore’s tail that always fell off, Tigger and Eeyore faced the same daily problems. But Tigger faced them with zeal and excitement, whereas Eeyore faced them with dread and depression.

We can’t choose our circumstances, but we can choose our response every time. We have to find joy even in the midst of bad circumstances. If we give ourselves permission to live without joy, to be depressed and discouraged, hopeless and defeated every time we face a hardship, our entire life is going to be like that. Because let’s face it. Life is hard! But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can find joy, no matter the circumtances. But it’s our job to find the joy, even in the midst of life’s hard.

Choosing to Find Joy

Shauna Niequist says in her book, I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet, that we are responsible to find joy. It doesn’t necessarily just come bubbling up. No, we have to chase it down; we have to choose to find it.

We also put ourselves in the path of joy, and sometimes, frankly, it takes a little muscle. I no longer wait for joy to rise up unbidden. I put myself in her path every chance I get, and extending myself in that direction delivers me to gratitude, to hope, to a cascade of things that tumble out after joy but don’t show up without a little effort on our part.
Shauna Niequist

Choose today to bear up under whatever hard it is you are facing. Choose to find joy. Learn to build some “muscle” with what you’re going through. If you do, it will make the next hard that comes your way just a little easier to deal with.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out You Can’t Wait Until Life isn’t Hard to Be Happy or read Lysa TerKeurst’s book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. The hardback is currently on sale on Amazon for $12.85.

Perspective Changes Everything

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Our Walk

I learned a thing or two about perspective the other day from my six-year-old. I took a walk a few days ago with my two youngest, Maggie and Macey. We were walking along the sidewalks looking at different houses when Macey stopped suddenly.

“Look at that!” she said loudly. I stopped to see what she was looking at and saw a yard that was in desperate need of a mow. The grass was getting long, and there were ugly white dandelions everywhere. But I stopped to see what she had to say. What she said next surprised me. “That’s not fair! Look at all those wishes they have!” My girls love picking dandelions and blowing them as they make wishes.

She took me by surprise, but I laughed to myself a moment later. Here, we had just walked past this yard that was immaculate. The lawn was neatly trimmed and treated; it looked like you could sleep on it and be totally comfortable. Macey walked right past that lawn and didn’t even notice it or pay any attention to it. Instead, she picked the lawn that looked like a hot mess and liked that one because it had so many dandelions.

Perspective Changes Everything

It’s so funny to me how our minds work, but this is a perfect example of how perspective changes everything. We both looked at the same yard, but our perspectives changed how we viewed the yard. I saw it as a yard full of weeds that needed to be mowed; Macey saw it as a field full of magical wishes.

So often, how we see life and how we react to it is simply a matter of perspective. We see one thing, and somebody else looking at the same thing sees something completely different. That’s one of the reasons we have to be so careful when we’re talking with other people about our opinions, views, preferences, and more.

A New Friend

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective and how it shapes so much of how we act, what we think, and what we say. On Sunday, I talked with a lady I had met for the first time. We were at a baby shower and ended up talking with a group of people for a few hours. She was so easy to talk with and had such a great spirit. She was just one of those people you want to hang around with a little while longer.

Towards the end of our conversation, we got to talking about shingles. I don’t even remember how. Matt told her I had a bad case of shingles after Madison was born. So she asked me about it, and I told her about the pain and how it was hard to do anything for the pain because it was nerve pain. She then proceeded to tell me that she understood all about nerve pain because she has Fibromyalgia.

Chronic Pain

She could have blown me away. I had no idea she dealt with chronic pain; she was so happy and fun and easy to talk to. As soon as she told me that, my respect for her increased even more. When we got home from the shower that night, Malachi told me that he thought she was a really nice person. She even made an impact on my kids.

The fact of the matter is, she has every right to be miserable and cranky. She lives with chronic pain and all the problems that go along with her disease. Yet, she’s chosen to make the most of it. She laughs and carries on and enjoys life; she doesn’t let it get her down.

Some of My Favorite Verses

It makes me think of some of my favorite verses in a very obscure book of the Bible.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
Habakkuk 3:17,18

It’s Always a Choice

Even though absolutely everything is falling apart around us, we still have a choice. We can choose to rejoice in God. It’s a choice, just like anything else.

If we can choose to rejoice no matter what; our perspective will change. We will begin to look at the circumstances around us through a different lens. That lens will help us to refocus and shift our perspective so that we can begin to see and understand life the way God sees it. We can begin to see a field of weeds in our lives as so much more. We can see the mess in our lives turn into a field of wishes. It’s all in our perspective.

For More Encouragement

One of the books I think of when I think of changing our perspective is Kisses from Katie but Katie Davis Majors. This book will stay with you a long time and change your perspective about life and how good we really have it.