There’s a story in the New Testament that sort of throws into question everything we understand about Jesus and who we perceive him to be. We see him healing the blind and lame, encouraging people, loving the unlovable. And then everything is flipped on its head when we see that his friends ask him to come heal their brother, and he ignores their request.

Jesus’ Friendship with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus

No one can argue about the fact that Jesus loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. He was friends with all of them. We get the understanding that he fellowshipped with them often. They were comfortable with him enough to demand why he hadn’t been there when Lazarus died.

And yet, when Jesus receives the news that Lazarus is dying, he doesn’t go. Mary and Martha send word to him, and he chooses not to go to them. He could have gone and healed him, kept him from dying in the first place. But he doesn’t. We see that from John 11.

When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days,

John 11:4-6 NLT

Martha’s Accusation

Jesus finally decides to go to Mary and Martha. They are understandably upset and confused. Martha meets Jesus and stares into his eyes as she accuses, “If you would have been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.” That’s how Martha tackled it–straight on. We know the rest of the story. We know that Jesus brings Lazarus back to life, but Mary and Martha didn’t know that ending. They only knew that Jesus failed to come when they needed him, and now their brother was dead.

A Powerful Lesson about Being Loved

There is a powerful lesson to learn here, one that’s not for the faint of heart. It’s a lesson that all of us will learn the hard way in this life.

What God does or doesn’t do in your life is not an indicator of his love for you.

Take a moment to reread those words. Now let’s unpack those seemingly harsh words. We have a basic understanding of God that is based on a one-to-one ratio. If God loves me, he will be good to me. If God blesses me, he loves me. If he provides for my needs, he loves me. When good things are happening in my life, God loves me.

Our Understanding of God’s Love

We also believe the opposite in this one-to-one ratio. If bad things are happening in my life, God doesn’t love me. If he’s not blessing me or providing for my needs, he doesn’t love me.

Yet, we can see from this story, that that’s not always how God works. Jesus loved Mary and Martha deeply, and yet he allowed them to go through this horrible tragedy. He didn’t change it for them or make it any easier. He had a different plan, a better one; though it was not necessarily a less painful plan.

God is Greater than Our Feelings

We have to remember that how God works in our lives is not an indicator of his love for us. How we feel is not an indicator of his love for us. Our feelings will never be an indicator of God’s love for us, because feelings change all the time. God’s love never changes. I love this verse from I John.

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

I John 3:20

God is greater than our feelings. It may seem like God has forgotten you; it may feel like he’s so very far away. But never doubt his love for you. The moment you begin to doubt God’s love, Satan gets a foothold and comes barging in, ready to wreak havoc in your life. After all, he’s the one whispering lies to you about God’s love.

Reminders of Being Loved

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

Psalm 143:8 NLT

For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:17 NLT

We love each other because he loved us first.

I John 4:19

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.

Psalm 36:5

I don’t know what you’re walking through today, but don’t ever doubt God’s love for you. Sometimes, when it feels that he is so far away, he’s actually working on your behalf. He’s making a better, a greater plan, one that you can’t see just yet. Trust in his love today; trust that he’s bringing everything together in your life to make it work out for his glory and your good.

More Encouragement

For more on this topic, check out my post, Living Loved or check out my book, The Hidden Pain: When You Fear God is No Longer Blessing Your Life.