Our Trip to Colorado

God used an event this last week to remind me that perspective changes everything and not to make a judgement call to early. We just finished a trip to Colorado. That’s no small feat. Without stops, it’s a twenty-five hour trip without stops from where we live in Pennsylvania to where my parents live in Colorado. Of course, that’s not possible; we always have stops. We usually take a trip to see my parents in June, but this year that didn’t happen. First of all, Macey landed in the ICU during the first week of June, when we were supposed to be traveling. Secondly, my mom asked me to speak at a ladies’ conference their church hosted in November.

So we found ourselves making the trip to Colorado in November this year instead of during the summer. We had a wonderful time seeing family and having a good time as a family.

Traveling Home

On the trip home, which always seems so much longer than the way there, we got slowed down all through Illinois and through Indiana because of snow. We were already behind. So Saturday evening put us still a few hours from home, with church looming before us the next morning. We were cruising along when I looked down at my phone and saw there was a huge delay up ahead. I told Matt, who was driving, and we quickly looked for a way to avoid it.

There was nothing; we were coming up on it too quickly to be able to avoid it. All too soon, we saw the brake lights and slowed down. Coming to a complete stop, we settled in for what seemed like it was going to be a while. We were okay for a little while; that is, until we came to a bend in the road and saw brake lights for at least a mile ahead of us. We realized we wouldn’t be going anywhere for quite some time.

As you can imagine, it didn’t take long for everybody to get frustrated and irritated. The kids were tired of sitting still, Matt was wearily watching for the traffic to move, and I was thinking through all the reasons this was so frustrating—the top reason being we were going to get home even later now on Saturday night. That would make things really difficult for Sunday morning.

Coming Upon the Scene

So we sat in traffic and waited and waited and waited. I’m not sure exactly how much time we lost during that stop, but it was significant. We continued to creep forward, never really getting anywhere. Finally, we came upon the scene. I glanced out my window as we drove past, and a sick feeling settled in my stomach. Silence descended on the car as we took in the scene.

There was a tractor trailer stopped on the highway. At the back of it was a car that had crashed into it. The car was so far forward into the back of the truck that the truck went all the way backseat. The front of the car was gone. There was a huge tarp covering the front of the car, closing off the view to the passerbys of the horror that had occurred in the front seat. Suddenly, everything I thought was so important faded from my mind. The things I had been so impatient about and worried about were no longer important. Nobody said anything in our car for at least the next thirty minutes.

That accident is the worst accident I have ever encountered. In those moments right after seeing the accident, I felt the guilt creep in. I had been so annoyed, so frustrated at the traffic not moving, at how late we would get home. Yet, after seeing the full picture of why we had been stopped for so long, those reasons were no longer relevant. Somebody and probably more than one person, had lost their lives that night while I sat complaining in traffic.

A Change in Perspective

I couldn’t shake that scene from my mind the rest of the way home. Even now, when I think about it, it makes me sick. I’ve thought about my response, and how my perspective totally changed once I knew the whole story.

That’s how life is. We are often so hard on other people, ready to disagree and tell them all the reasons they’re wrong. Judgement always seems to bubble up faster than love and acceptance. Whether it’s somebody who does life differently than us, believes differently, votes differently, has different views on current events…we believe that we have the right answer. And if somebody has a different view than us, they are wrong. We cast judgement as if we were the ones given that role in the first place.

Yet, if we would just take the time to hear them out and hear why they do what they do or believe the way they do, it would open our eyes. It would probably change our perspective. We would see that they have a reason why they do what they do or say what they say. When we see the entire picture or hear the entire story, it opens our eyes and changes our response. We still may not agree, but we can have empathy and begin to understand them better.

Jesus’ Warning

Jesus warned us not to come down hard on other people, unless we want people to be hard on us. He warned us that judgement would come on us if we pass judgement on other people.

Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.

Luke 6:37,38

Approaching the Holidays

Our world is divided and fractured, and we can add to that division; or we can choose to tear down those walls. As we move towards the holidays, choose to find ways to bring down the walls. One of the best ways we can begin to understand why people do what they do or say what they say is to simply listen to them. Ask questions and simply listen. It may surprise you. The thing is…people are doing the best they can. Most people have a realistic reason for doing what they’re doing.

So let’s choose to pass the pumpkin pie around the holiday table and not judgement. Let’s listen more than we talk, and let’s love on people who are different from us. That’s what Jesus did, and I think He’s a pretty good role model to follow.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, read my post—Love is Still the Answer. A great video to watch is How Radically Ordinary Hospitality Changed Rosaria Butterfield’s Life.