With Thanksgiving next week, this is a great time to stop and consider all our blessings. Thanksgiving is such a fun time. But with all the baking, cooking, spending time with family, football, parades, and more, we can simply run out of time to be thankful. I don’t want Thanksgiving to pass without a chance to just spend a few extra minutes thanking God and remembering all my blessings.
100 Blessings Challenge
Each year, I challenge myself to do something extra in regards to being thankful. Last year, I went through the alphabet and wrote down one thing that I was thankful for for each letter. This is a great way to stretch yourself and spend some extra time just being reminded of God’s goodness. This year, I chose to go with 100 blessings. I took the time to write down 100 things I’m thankful for. Neither of these ideas take long. It just takes a few minutes and some planning to set the time aside.
It’s so important to focus on the good and to take opportunities to remind ourselves of God’s goodness and faithfulness. Otherwise, we tend to focus on the negative, on all the bad things going on in our lives. When we do that, the negativity just continues to grow and spill over. Instead, we can use this time of year as a time to flip the script, to force ourselves to see God’s good hand of blessing all over our lives.
Evidence of God’s Goodness
Acts 14 reminds us that God may let us go our own way, but he never lets us forget his goodness to us.
In the past he permitted all the nations to go their own ways, but he never left them without evidence of himself and his goodness. For instance, he sends you rain and good crops and gives you food and joyful hearts.
Acts 14:16,17 NLT
We may go our own way for a while, but God won’t ever let us forget His goodness to us. He sends us reminders of Himself and his goodness; we just have to look for them. And what better time than at Thanksgiving to look for those reminders.
Tuesday night was our Friendsgiving with our small-turned-large group. We used to be a small group meeting at our house, but it’s grown too much to be able to meet there. So now, we meet at the church on Tuesday nights. This past Tuesday was our Friendsgiving.
*Note: we did a terrible job taking pictures for the night. We only got a few, and none with the entire group.
Growing Our Group
I remember hearing about Friendsgiving for the first time several years ago. Instantly, I knew I wanted to do it; I loved the idea of having Thanksgiving with friends on a different day than the holiday and saving Thanksgiving for family. I loved it so much, I wanted to do it. The problem was, I didn’t have a group to do it with, and I didn’t really know how to start.
Fast forward several years. We hosted over thirty people for our Friendsgiving this week and had such an amazing time together. We laughed hard and had delicious food. It was just a really good time. Tuesday night was the culmination of the last several years.
We didn’t grow that group overnight. It’s taken the last few years to grow our group. We started small, inviting just two couples over to our house every Tuesday night for dinner and a Bible study. Over the years, the group has grown into what it is today. Now, we’re a loud, rowdy bunch.
Starting Your Own Friendsgiving
If you love the idea of Friendsgiving but don’t know how to get started, here’s how to get started in two easy steps.
How to Start Your Own Friendsgiving
Start small. Invite one or two couples or families over to your house for a Thanksgiving meal on a day or night separate from Thanksgiving. (That way you can save Thanksgiving day for family.)
Have each person bring two dishes. I learned this the hard way. I used to make everything myself. It’s so much easier and more fun when everybody brings food. You also get to vary up the food. At our Friendsgiving, we had turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, beans and rice, Cajun fried chicken, mac and cheese, green beans, appetizer foods, pumpkin bars, and more.
That’s how to start; then here are a few tips to make it run smoothly. These are just some of the things we’ve learned over the years of hosting Friendsgiving.
10 Tips to Making Friendsgiving Easy and Uncomplicated
Use paper products and plastic silverware and cups so nobody gets stuck washing dishes. I usually get mine every year from either Dollar Tree or Walmart. Then I use my fall decor to decorate the tables, so I don’t have to spend a lot of money.
Add an easy, tangible way to show thankfulness. We printed off “I am thankful for” cards and spread them out on the table with a few pens and markers. Everybody wrote down what they were thankful for, and we just left them on the table to add to the decor. There are tons of free ones online.
Use plastic tablecloths so you can roll everything up and just throw it out.
Have something for the kids to do to keep them busy, so the adults can have a good time too. This year, our youth leader took all the kids for us, which was a huge blessing! Other years, we’ve printed off fun worksheets, bought crafts from Hobby Lobby, and also put a bunch of fun Thanksgiving picture books from the library on the tables for kids to read. Another fun idea is to buy one of those tablecloths that has activities on it that the kids can color and do at the table while they wait for food.
Don’t have a plan other than to eat and fellowship and have a good time. If you get a chance to play a game, go for it. But it’s okay to just sit and relax and fellowship too.
Don’t plan it too close to Thanksgiving Day. I remember one year, we had our Friendsgiving the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. That was a terrible idea. We weren’t hungry at all on Thursday, nor were we in the mood to cook again after we’d cooked all day the day before.
Make it a relaxed affair. Don’t make people feel like they have to dress up. That’s where the paper plates and tablecloths come in. Keep it easy and relaxed. The more formal it is, the more nervous people get. Just keep it relaxed so everyone can have a good time.
Pick easy dishes. Don’t try something you’ve never tried before that has a million steps. You’ll be stressed and nervous and won’t make for a great host. Instead, go for tried and true recipes. Every year, I make mashed potatoes for our group and one of the turkeys. It’s just what we do. I also make these pumpkin bars from Pioneer Woman that are always a hit! For drinks, we always buy Canada Dry Cranberry Ginger Ale. It’s yummy and easy and looks festive.
This year, we made snowballs, chocolate-covered pretzels, and acorns. Actually, my girls made all those. Having fun treats like these are great for kids, and it’s a good way to get your own kids involved. (see the treats below)
Choose to just enjoy the night. I used to get so stressed, trying to make everything perfect, that I didn’t get to enjoy the night. Now, I just go with the flow. Whatever happens happens. Maybe we don’t have stuffing or maybe somebody forgets to bring something. Maybe we don’t have plastic knives for anybody to cut the ham (that happened on Tuesday.) What did we do? We used our forks and sometimes fingers to do the cutting for us. We made it work. It’s all about just enjoying the night.
Do you celebrate Friendsgiving? What works for you? I’d love to hear about it!
God used an event this last week to remind me that perspective changes everything and not to make a judgement call to early. We just finished a trip to Colorado. That’s no small feat. Without stops, it’s a twenty-five hour trip without stops from where we live in Pennsylvania to where my parents live in Colorado. Of course, that’s not possible; we always have stops. We usually take a trip to see my parents in June, but this year that didn’t happen. First of all, Macey landed in the ICU during the first week of June, when we were supposed to be traveling. Secondly, my mom asked me to speak at a ladies’ conference their church hosted in November.
So we found ourselves making the trip to Colorado in November this year instead of during the summer. We had a wonderful time seeing family and having a good time as a family.
Traveling Home
On the trip home, which always seems so much longer than the way there, we got slowed down all through Illinois and through Indiana because of snow. We were already behind. So Saturday evening put us still a few hours from home, with church looming before us the next morning. We were cruising along when I looked down at my phone and saw there was a huge delay up ahead. I told Matt, who was driving, and we quickly looked for a way to avoid it.
There was nothing; we were coming up on it too quickly to be able to avoid it. All too soon, we saw the brake lights and slowed down. Coming to a complete stop, we settled in for what seemed like it was going to be a while. We were okay for a little while; that is, until we came to a bend in the road and saw brake lights for at least a mile ahead of us. We realized we wouldn’t be going anywhere for quite some time.
As you can imagine, it didn’t take long for everybody to get frustrated and irritated. The kids were tired of sitting still, Matt was wearily watching for the traffic to move, and I was thinking through all the reasons this was so frustrating—the top reason being we were going to get home even later now on Saturday night. That would make things really difficult for Sunday morning.
Coming Upon the Scene
So we sat in traffic and waited and waited and waited. I’m not sure exactly how much time we lost during that stop, but it was significant. We continued to creep forward, never really getting anywhere. Finally, we came upon the scene. I glanced out my window as we drove past, and a sick feeling settled in my stomach. Silence descended on the car as we took in the scene.
There was a tractor trailer stopped on the highway. At the back of it was a car that had crashed into it. The car was so far forward into the back of the truck that the truck went all the way backseat. The front of the car was gone. There was a huge tarp covering the front of the car, closing off the view to the passerbys of the horror that had occurred in the front seat. Suddenly, everything I thought was so important faded from my mind. The things I had been so impatient about and worried about were no longer important. Nobody said anything in our car for at least the next thirty minutes.
That accident is the worst accident I have ever encountered. In those moments right after seeing the accident, I felt the guilt creep in. I had been so annoyed, so frustrated at the traffic not moving, at how late we would get home. Yet, after seeing the full picture of why we had been stopped for so long, those reasons were no longer relevant. Somebody and probably more than one person, had lost their lives that night while I sat complaining in traffic.
A Change in Perspective
I couldn’t shake that scene from my mind the rest of the way home. Even now, when I think about it, it makes me sick. I’ve thought about my response, and how my perspective totally changed once I knew the whole story.
That’s how life is. We are often so hard on other people, ready to disagree and tell them all the reasons they’re wrong. Judgement always seems to bubble up faster than love and acceptance. Whether it’s somebody who does life differently than us, believes differently, votes differently, has different views on current events…we believe that we have the right answer. And if somebody has a different view than us, they are wrong. We cast judgement as if we were the ones given that role in the first place.
Yet, if we would just take the time to hear them out and hear why they do what they do or believe the way they do, it would open our eyes. It would probably change our perspective. We would see that they have a reason why they do what they do or say what they say. When we see the entire picture or hear the entire story, it opens our eyes and changes our response. We still may not agree, but we can have empathy and begin to understand them better.
Jesus’ Warning
Jesus warned us not to come down hard on other people, unless we want people to be hard on us. He warned us that judgement would come on us if we pass judgement on other people.
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.
Luke 6:37,38
Approaching the Holidays
Our world is divided and fractured, and we can add to that division; or we can choose to tear down those walls. As we move towards the holidays, choose to find ways to bring down the walls. One of the best ways we can begin to understand why people do what they do or say what they say is to simply listen to them. Ask questions and simply listen. It may surprise you. The thing is…people are doing the best they can. Most people have a realistic reason for doing what they’re doing.
So let’s choose to pass the pumpkin pie around the holiday table and not judgement. Let’s listen more than we talk, and let’s love on people who are different from us. That’s what Jesus did, and I think He’s a pretty good role model to follow.
With some states shutting down again and others feeling like a shut-down is imminent, and being told how many people we can have over, or if we can have anybody over at all, it feels like maybe the best thing to do is to cancel Thanksgiving this year. I feel your frustration.
While Thanksgiving is going to look different for all of us depending on where you live, I want to encourage you to not give up on the holiday. Find a way to make it work, even if it’s just for those who live in your home. Thanksgiving is too important of a holiday to miss. Satan would like nothing better than for us to miss this holiday altogether.
Thanksgiving is about 2 Things
Thanksgiving is about two things. It’s about setting aside a day to focus on our blessings and give thanks to God for all he has blessed us with. Secondly, it’s about spending time with family and friends and sharing with them how grateful we are that they are in our lives. We all know we should show our gratitude all year long, but with the busyness of life, it’s nice to have an entire day set aside to allow us the time to be grateful.
So even if it’s just the people or the person who lives in your home, make it special. Still make a turkey or a turkey breast, make some mashed potatoes and gravy, and all the fixings that make Thanksgiving special for your family. If you’re not a pie fan, like me, give these pumpkin bars by Pioneer woman a try. They’re amazing!
Setting the Table
My table from last Thanksgiving
Set a beautiful table, light a candle, and play soft piano music in the background. You don’t have to spend a lot. You can see from my table last year that I used paper plates and a plastic table cloth and just some decor items I had in the house. There’s something special about sitting down at a beautiful table.
Sometime during the meal, spend a few moments sharing what you are thankful for. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out. Before we pray, we simply go around the table and say what we are most thankful for this year. The kids usually say something quick and easy while the adults may say something that’s on their heart that’s a little longer. It doesn’t matter how long or short it is; it simply matters that you took the time to be thankful.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
Psalm 100:4
Thanksgiving Fun
Our books from the library and crafts from Hobby Lobby
We like to spread Thanksgiving into the entire week. We got to our library and get all the Thanksgiving books we can find. We just took back our last haul of Thanksgiving books that we have read the last two weeks. I think we got all the good ones. These were the ones that were left when we went this week. The week leading up to Thanksgiving and the week of Thanksgving, we tried to read at least one Thanksgiving book every day.
We also get Thanksgiving crafts to do during the week. Hobby Lobby is my go-to place for holiday crafts. I also bought Thanksgiving place mats for the kids to color on Thanksgiving while they are waiting for the food to finish up.
Don’t Cancel Thanksgiving
Don’t cancel Thanksgiving this year because it feels like you’re being pressured to skip it. Hold the line and celebrate this important family holiday with whoever you are allowed to celebrate with. Choose to make the most of it whether that’s with one other person or twenty.
Thanksgiving comes each year, and with it comes the crazy busyness of the holiday. The grocery shopping and last-minute runs to the store for all the things we forgot, the cooking and baking, the decorating, the entertaining, and all the special things that make Thanksgiving the holiday it is. We get so busy that often the day passes by without us ever getting a chance to thank the One who has made it all possible. It’s hard to take the time to make that happen.
Making the Time
I get it. I really do. I am hosting two separate Thanksgivings this year. One on Wednesday night and another one on Thanksgiving day, and we are heading to a third one on Thanksgiving night. It’s crazy! But somewhere in the midst of all that, I have to set aside time to thank God for my blessings. So Thursday morning, before the parade starts, before I start cooking for the day, before my kids get out of bed excited and energized for the day, I am going to make a cup of coffee, light a candle, and grab my Bible and journal and spend some quiet time thanking God for the incredible life He has given me.
I will sing unto the Lord, because He hath dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:6
I was thinking this morning- what if this was my last Thanksgiving? How would I spend it? What would I change? I think I would take the time gather my littles close to me and hug and kiss them and tell them how much I love them and am grateful for them. I would take the time to let my husband know how very much he means to me. I would do more laughing and celebrating with friends and family and less complaining and getting frustrated. We are not guaranteed next year. Life is so short and unpredictable. We have to choose to make this Thanksgiving count.
Choose to Make the Time
Choose to take the time to thank God for His many blessings in your life. Be fully present this Thanksgiving with your family and friends. Don’t be so busy making Thanksgiving perfect that you forget what it is all about- spending time with those you love and thanking the One who gave you this beautiful life to live.
Free Thanksgiving Printables
Just for fun, I created the Thanksgiving printables below. The first two you can print off and put in frames for your Thanksgiving table. The third one I created is for writing down how God has blessed you. It would be a fun project for kids to work on too! I hope you enjoy them. Sign up at the bottom of the page to get the three free printables.
