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Handling Hard Better

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Handle Hard Better Video

girl with hands raised- handling hard

Matt showed me a video this week on Youtube from the Women’s basketball coach at Duke. It’s been labeled Handle Hard Better. It’s a great quick video that all of us can learn from. Take a quick minute to watch it; it’s worth the time.

The simple fact of the matter is that life is hard. It’s never going to get easier. Instead, we have to learn how to bear up under that hard, handle the hard better. The better we handle the hard we’re dealing with now, the better we make it for the next thing we have to deal with.

Life Doesn’t Get Easier

Matt has a saying. “Life doesn’t get easier, but it gets better.” I don’t know that there ever comes a point and time in life when we say, “Wow. This is so easy right now.” School is hard. College is grueling. Having babies is exhausting. Raising children is no joke. Preparing teens for life is not for the faint of heart. Building a career is no easy feat. Choosing to stay married requires love and sacrifice. On and on the list goes. Life never gets easier, but it can get better. Why?” Because we learn how to handle life as it comes our way.

We can choose to live under our circumstances and let them crush the life and joy out of us, or we can choose to live above our circumstances. I like to think of it this way. We can choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. Except for Eeyore’s tail that always fell off, Tigger and Eeyore faced the same daily problems. But Tigger faced them with zeal and excitement, whereas Eeyore faced them with dread and depression.

We can’t choose our circumstances, but we can choose our response every time. We have to find joy even in the midst of bad circumstances. If we give ourselves permission to live without joy, to be depressed and discouraged, hopeless and defeated every time we face a hardship, our entire life is going to be like that. Because let’s face it. Life is hard! But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can find joy, no matter the circumtances. But it’s our job to find the joy, even in the midst of life’s hard.

Choosing to Find Joy

Shauna Niequist says in her book, I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet, that we are responsible to find joy. It doesn’t necessarily just come bubbling up. No, we have to chase it down; we have to choose to find it.

We also put ourselves in the path of joy, and sometimes, frankly, it takes a little muscle. I no longer wait for joy to rise up unbidden. I put myself in her path every chance I get, and extending myself in that direction delivers me to gratitude, to hope, to a cascade of things that tumble out after joy but don’t show up without a little effort on our part.

Shauna Niequist

Choose today to bear up under whatever hard it is you are facing. Choose to find joy. Learn to build some “muscle” with what you’re going through. If you do, it will make the next hard that comes your way just a little easier to deal with.

More Encouragement

For more encouragement on this topic, check out You Can’t Wait Until Life isn’t Hard to Be Happy or read Lysa TerKeurst’s book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. The hardback is currently on sale on Amazon for $12.85.

An Update on Macey and the Last Six Weeks

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The Last Six Weeks at Home

We have been home from the hospital for about six weeks now and are adjusting to our new normal with Macey, who was diagnosed at the beginning of June with Type 1 Diabetes. She has been such a trooper and so brave and strong through all of this.

Macey with her Dexcom
Macey with her Dexcom on her arm

Macey’s New Dexcom

I am so happy to say that she got her Dexom—a continuous glucose monitoring system. It has made things so much easier for us to monitor her numbers continuously. It makes traveling soo much easier. With the touch of a button, we know her numbers. Whether it’s while she’s swimming in the pool, playing outside, traveling in the car, or sleeping…we can know what her numbers are and help to prevent any highs and lows. It’s been a game changer for us. The Dexcom takes the place of pricking her finger. So we don’t have to do all the finger pricking all day long, and she’s super grateful for that!

Macey's Dexcom
Macey’s Dexcom monitor

In the months to come, we are hoping to get her on an insulin pump. That will take the place of most of her insulin shots, so we are still praying and hoping for that sometime in the future. Right now, we are enjoying the freedom of using the Dexcom.

We got to go see our friends in Ohio and their new book store!

Back to Her Happy Self

Thank you to so many of you that have been praying for us and praying for Macey. She is doing so much better. She is back to her normal self, something that we are so incredibly grateful for. It took several weeks for her to be back to the “Macey” we know, but we are so happy with where she’s at now.

Macey and her daddy
Macey on a date with her Daddy

She turned six last week and celebrated by having a Wonder Woman party! We had our family over for the day, and the cousins all ended up in the pool! It was a great day.

Macey at her birthday party
Macey’s birthday party

Being Reminded of God’s Goodness

It’s during times like these that we are reminded of how good God is and how blessed we are to have family and friends that love us and pray for us. We experienced such an outflow of love from people. Macey received card after card, balloons, presents in the mail, and more. We are beyond thankful for all of you! Thank you so much!

We are so thankful that God prepared us as much as possible to be able to handle Macey’s diagnosis. Every time we meet with a new doctor or nurse, they ask us if we are ready to handle the trials that come from having a Type 1 Diabetic child in school. Every time, we are able to tell them that we don’t have to worry about that because I homeschool the kids. Every time, without fail, they say something like, “Oh, good. That will be so much easier!” God is so good. He knew exactly what Macey would need before we did.

Our Biggest Blessing this Summer

God has an amazing way of meeting needs before we even know we know them. One of the biggest blessings we’ve experienced this summer is getting an Intex pool in the backyard. We have wanted one for several years and just haven’t pulled the trigger. We decided that this was the year. It has been a God-send. One of the things that keeps Madcey’s numbers from going too high is exercise. So, every time her numbers start to climb, we throw her in the pool…which she is happy as a clam to do! It’s been such a blessing!

The girls in the pool

Sometimes, you have to pull back and look at the full situation to see God’s hand of blessing in your life. Other times, it’s so evident that you can’t miss it. I feel like that’s how the last several weeks have been.

We continue to trust God and his plan for Macey as we move forward. We are continually reminded of his faithfulness and goodness to us.

For More Encouragement

If you are in the midst of a difficult season right now in your own life and need some encouragement, check out our devotional: He Still Calms Storms: Finding Calm in the Midst of Chaos (a 30-day devotional) or read my blog post: When Problems Disrupt Our Lives.

5 Signs You Won’t Make it Through this Storm

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storm

My husband, Matt, wrote this post for his blog this week. I liked it so much and thought it was so helpful, I decided to share it for this week’s post.

The Perfect Storm

October 30, 1991, was the day a nameless storm hit the North Atlantic seaboard.  Just a few days before, Hurricane Grace developed off the coast of Bermuda and headed to the Southeast coastline of the United States. As the days progressed, Grace came head-to-head with a low-pressure system hailing from Canada. The clash of the two storms created the perfect storm. The National Hurricane Center chose not to name the storm for fear it would confuse the public.

During the developing weather system, a crew of six manned a 70-foot fishing boat called the Andrea Gail. The crew headed to the Grand Banks of the North Atlantic, where they were hoping to catch swordfish. When the crew failed to arrive back into port on November 1, a search party was sent to look for the them. Sebastian Junger records the tale in his book, The Perfect Storm, which became a motion picture. The unnamed perfect storm swallowed the crew who were never found.  

A Storm of Biblical Proportions

The disciples were used to fishing on the twelve-mile-long and eight-mile-wide Sea of Galilee. What they were not used to were the freak storms that could whip up at a moment’s notice. The sea was nicknamed “The Great Abyss” by the locals. While the sea gave the men their livelihood, it also posed a threat to their lives.  

While we might not be in a literal storm like the disciples, we all face “storms” that threaten to take us down, along with the people we love as well as our future. How do you know if you’re going to make it through your storm? Here are five signs that indicate you won’t make it.

5 Signs You Won’t Make It Through the Storm

1. You are about to quit.

The worst time to leave a relationship, quit a job, or make a drastic decision is in the midst of a storm. It’s been said, “Don’t make a long-term decision, for short-term inconvenience.” Storms have a shelf-life with an expiration date. What’s the answer? H-A-L-T Don’t make a decision when you are H (Hungry), A (Angry), L (Lonely), or T (Tired.)

2. You think you’re the exception

You think you’re the exception. Sometimes the temptation comes to sail head-long into a bad situation, do nothing, or just hope for the best. “Let the chips fall where they may.” If you have advanced warning of a storm, experts say the best course of action is to find a port. Don’t look for just any port. Find a port that’s a “hurricane hole,” with high mountains or cliffs around it and a good holding. What’s the answer? Go to God. Reach out to friends who will point you back to God. Get to church. Church is a great port of refuge for those times we are the most troubled. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

3. You think another ship might help.

Target fixation can be a real problem in a storm. There are people and places you might think will be a help but will only sink you faster in the midst of chaos. What’s the answer? Have a plan and conviction before the chaos and crisis hits.

4. You’re in denial.

Ever heard this before? “Denial is not just a river in Egypt.” Some of us don’t like bad news, to feel pain, or deal with reality. We might get so used to chaos and living in a “storm” that we get comfortable with drama, stress, and toxicity. If you don’t get help or make a change, eventually you’ll start taking on water and sink any chance of making it through the storm. What’s the answer? Get HOT- be honest, open, and transparent with where you are in life. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. We are only as sick as our secrets. We’ve all got problems. If you’re in an abusive, unhealthy relationship, it might be time to reach out to someone and ask for help.

5. Your emotions are calling the shots.

Panic is the most dangerous crew member in the midst of a storm. If panic takes the helm and starts giving orders, the risk of injury and fatality increase exponentially. What’s the answer? Have a plan and stick to it. Get a buddy system. Who can you call to help you have objectivity in your situation? Who can you check in with on a regular basis so that you can keep a level head?

Your Own Perfect Storm

Maybe you’re facing your own unnamed perfect storm right now. You’re fearful of your circumstances swallowing you up. You fear no rescue party could find you. Friends and family have their own worries to tend to. You may feel alone like the disciples and wonder if anyone knows or cares about you. Be encouraged to know that Jesus will always come to you in your storm. 

In Matthew 14:22-33, the disciples experienced a literal storm. Jesus came to them in the midst of their storm and guided them safely to shore.

Jesus will allow for situations to unfold in which we feel far from him. In the start of the story, Jesus tells the disciples to go on ahead without him. Sometimes there are situations in life when we feel alone and far from Jesus. It’s simply a part of life. But just because we feel lonely doesn’t mean we are alone.  

Remember this: God may allow storms, but he doesn’t abandon us in them. When you are in the midst of your storm, call out to Jesus. He will be there and help guide you safely through your storm.

For More Encouragement

Check out our thirty-day devotional, He Still Calms Storms: Finding Calm in the Midst of Chaos or my post: How to Prepare My Heart for a Difficult Season of Life.

5 Ways to Move Forward After a Difficult Season

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family lunch
Enjoying lunch together as a family for my birthday.

Our Season of Testing

Our family has just come through a tough season. About a year ago, everything in our personal lives and ministry fell apart. Through various circumstances, our church took a huge financial hit last summer. For several months, we didn’t receive a paycheck. When we finally started getting a paycheck again, it was half of what we used to make. It took us months to dig out of the pit both personally and for the church.

We ended up moving into a smaller house, and Matt picked up hours delivering for Amazon. Everything was turned on its head. So much changed for us over this past year. I think I can finally say, we are adjusting to our new normal. As with any tough season in life, I struggled for a long time. I spent a lot of time praying, journaling, being sad, getting angry, lashing out in frustration, and more. While life is not perfect, and we are still dealing with everything, I feel like I can finally take a full breath and focus on moving forward.

Job’s Life After His Season of Testing

I’ve been reading the book of Job this past month and thinking about his story. I wonder if Job had a hard time after God brought him through his season of testing. We know he lived a long life. I wonder what his life was like after God restored him. Did his body bear the scars of his disease? Did he struggle with post-traumatic stress? Was he constantly hovering over his children, protecting them, worrying about them? Did he constantly look over his shoulder? Was he always waiting for the hammer to drop? Did he fear God taking away everything again?

Living in Fear

After you come through something traumatic, fear keeps us from having peace. A few years ago, someone set our van on fire the night after Christmas. It was a pretty traumatic experience for us. You can read about it in a post I wrote HERE. After our van fire, I had a hard time sleeping at night. It took me a long time to be able to sleep through the night. I battled fear every night for awhile. All I could think about was it happening again.

I listened to a podcast a few years ago. The lady being interviewed spoke about losing her eight-month-old baby. A friend told her, “Well, at least the worst that could possibly happen, happened.” The mom who had lost her child said, “No, my greatest fear is it happening again and losing one of my other children.

Living Life to Its Fullest

Sometimes God takes us through a season of testing that leaves us battle-weary and scarred. We can spend our days looking over our shoulders in fear, but that’s no way to live life. I don’t think Job lived that way. The last commentary on his life comes from the final chapter of Job.

After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, even four generations. So Job died, being old and full of days. (Job 42:16,17)

I think that Job was somehow able to move on with his life and live it to the fullest.

5 Ways to Move Forward after a Difficult Season

How do you move on from something and not have it haunt you? Is it possible to live life fully in the moment and not fear something happening again? It can be. There are five ways we can choose to actively move forward.

  1. Choose to live life one day at a time. Choose to trust God with today. Don’t can’t focus on tomorrow. Focus on God’s provision for today.
  2. Enjoy each blessing and life today to the fullest. We must choose to smile and spend time with those we love. “Discouragement is a choice,” Rick Warren says. I remind myself of that often.
  3. Don’t focus on the fear of the “what if’s.” We get paralyzed when we think about things falling apart again.
  4. Write down something you are grateful for every day. Every morning, I start my morning time routine with writing down at least three things I am thankful for. This starts my day on a positive note.
  5. Don’t spend time dwelling on the past. Think about the future and moving forward. When you are in a tough season, you can only manage to keep your head above water. As you start to move forward again, dream about the future. Make plans to live life fully again.

Following these five steps, we can find our footing again and begin to move forward after a season of difficulty. Solomon says, there is a time and a season for everything. God has not forgotten you in this season of difficulty. He is with you now, and He will help you when it’s time to start moving forward again.