When You Can’t Forgive Yourself

quote about forgiveness

It’s so hard to forgive ourselves.

I talked with a friend recently who was heartbroken about some things in her life. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I would have never thought I would have done this.” Matt and I listened as she poured her heart out; then we reminded her that God still loved her.

Matt asked her, “Have you confessed it to God and asked his forgiveness?” She nodded and then spoke these words, “But it’s so hard to forgive myself.”

We’ve been there; we’ve all blown it. We have all made mistakes and done things that we wish we wouldn’t have. Sometimes though, it seems impossible to come back from those mistakes.

Will God stop forgiving me?

A friend in our small group recently told us that he had a friend who had done something he didn’t believe God could possibly forgive him for. What do you do when you feel like you can’t come back from something? Is there any sin that’s too much for God to forgive?

David from the Psalms says, “But with you (God) is forgiveness…” (Psalm 130:4) We know God forgives, but does he forgive me? And will he forgive me this time? Will I wear out his forgiveness? What happens when God gives up on me and stops forgiving me?

How often does God forgive?

We get an idea of how Jesus felt about forgiveness when Peter asks him a question about forgiveness one day. Peter asks Jesus this question, “How often do we have to forgive people? About seven times?”

Peter thought he was being really generous in offering the number seven. Yet, Jesus responds with an answer that shocks Peter. Jesus says, “Not seven times. Seventy times seven.”

Is 490 the magic number then? No, Jesus was trying to get Peter to understand the point he was making. We are to forgive and forgive and then forgive some more. If Jesus wants us to forgive that often, how much more is he willing to forgive us?

God is still faithful.

I John 1:9 doesn’t change, no matter how many times we mess up and fall.


If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I John 1:9

We have to choose to get back up again.

The tough part about falling is getting back up. We have to pick ourselves up off the ground, ask God’s forgiveness, tell him we were wrong, and then choose to move forward. It’s tempting to stay down, to wallow in the messiness of it all. True courage is to stand up, confess, ask God for forgiveness, and move forward.

The hardest part of all of that is to choose to accept God’s forgiveness. Once we’ve confessed it, it’s done. We don’t have to keep confessing or keep reliving it. It’s simply done. God removes that sin from us and thinks about it no longer.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.

Psalm 103: 12, 14

To move forward, we have to accept God’s forgiveness.

We have to choose to let it go. God’s forgiven it; we have to accept that forgiveness and move forward. If we don’t choose to accept his forgiveness, we won’t be able to move forward in life towards all that God has for us.

More Encouragement

For more on this topic, check out my post, What to do after Failure? A song to encourage your heart is Forgiven by Crowder.

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Hi friend, thanks for stopping by! I'm Amanda. I am a pastor's wife and a homeschooling mom who has a passion to encourage women to faithfully step every day into what God has for them.

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